Page 81 of Fumbled Love

“I wasn’t prepared for this,” Beau said, looking across the table. “Is there anything we can do to make you rethink your decision?”

“I’m afraid not. This wasn’t an easy decision for me, but it’s time for me to focus on the next chapter of my life.” I kept my focus on Beau. “I want to thank the organization for taking a chance on me, for believing in me and giving me the opportunity to compete in a sport that I love.” I moved my attention over to Coach Ludden. “It wouldn’t be fair to my teammates who wake up every morning ready to put in the work that needs to be done. So, with that being said, I am officially retiring.”

“So, this is it?” Coach Ludden asked; he didn’t seem surprised. We’ve been together for the past ten years, and he paid attention to things most people didn’t. That’s probably why he didn’t seem so shocked.

“Coach, I’ll always be thankful for your leadership. Thank you for putting up with me. I know I was demanding at times, but you provided me with everything I needed to win. I’ve learned so much from you and will always be grateful for your leadership and friendship.”

His smile was warm and genuine. “It’s been one of the greatest pleasures of my coaching career.”

Beau cleared his throat while rolling his expensive pen around his fingers. “Are you sure there isn’t anything we can offer you? Maybe take some more time to think things over.”

My eyes shifted to the different sets of eyes waiting for me to respond. “I appreciate that, but my decision is final.”

“You know, you are the only shot we have to win the Super Bowl next year. We’ve invested a lot of money into this team.” Beau pinched the bridge of his nose. “Wilson is too young, he still needs some fine-tuning. You are leaving us in a jam here. We will have to trade a draft pick or offer one helluva contract to replace you.” He laughed lightly. “This is an unusual situation. You’re the first athlete I’ve met who willingly retired so young. This isn’t a situation where no one wants you or you’re being pushed out. So, I’ll ask you one last time. Are you sure this is what you want?”

“I’m sure. My reasons are strictly personal.”

Beau leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers under his chin. “Then we respect your decision. The only thing I ask is that you hold off on your announcement until the season is officially over. We might not be going to the Super Bowl next week, but the league doesn’t need any distractions.”

My shoulders slumped forward in relief. “You got it.”

Everyone stood, congratulated me on my retirement, and wished me well. There were a few jokes tossed around about seeing me on SportsCenter or a State Farm commercial. The only person who wasn’t laughing was Julian.

He pulled me to the side once everyone had left the room. “I’m not trying to be a hard-ass here, but I think I could negotiate a good contract for you in New York. Isn’t that where your girl is?”

“Not anymore. Even still I couldn’t imagine playing for another team.”

The travel, the commitment, none of it would change. It would still be long days at training camp, hours spent watching film, and meetings with coaches and coordinators. The preseason alone required so much focus and time that I practically lived at the facility. And with the baby being due at the end of August, it wasn’t going to work.

“You’ve lost your mind, you know that, right? You’re giving up millions in potential income.”

I patted his back. “Thanks for always looking out for me, Julian, but I’m all set.”

“Wait. Did she make you do this?”

“No.” My voice was firm and held no room for argument. He still didn’t fully understand that this was my choice and that he needed to respect my decision. “She doesn’t even know about this.”

The last thing I wanted was to get her hopes up and promise her something I couldn’t deliver.

I took one last walk through the tunnel and stared at the stadium. I was going to miss the fans cheering and the rush I would get every time I stepped onto the field. I would miss throwing that ball and watching it fly into the hands of a receiver. I would miss the hell out of my teammates and the pre-game rituals—the hazing, the camaraderie, even the victory dances that earned us hefty fines. I wouldn’t miss getting hit, though. I wouldn’t miss the shitty calls from the refs or the brutal press conferences after a loss. My teammates, the coaching staff, and even the maintenance workers were people I’d become friends with. Those are the people I’ll miss the most.

CHAPTER29

MAVERICK

I was throwingmy clothes in a duffel bag when there was a knock on my door. I grabbed the phone charger from the wall and shoved it in the bag before forgetting about it.

“Julian, what are you doing here?”

I was flying to New York to help Kinley pack up her apartment, so I was in a hurry to get to the airport.

“We have a problem.” He breezed past me, walked over to my mini-bar, and poured himself a drink.

“What’s going on?”

My nerves started to rattle. Did the owners of the team change their minds? Were they going to screw me over?

“Have you been on social media today?”

---