Page 71 of Fumbled Beginning

“So, you’re just going to push me away? Do my feelings not matter?” I shook my head. “I’m sorry for all that you had to endure. Your pain, your past, and your anger, it’s all a part of you. None of that scares me and nothing could make me love you any less.”

His head whipped to mine. “You love me?”

I did not mean to blurt that out. That wasn’t how I planned on telling him.

I moved in a little closer, refusing to acknowledge the panic in his expression. “You’re very easy to love and you may think I am wasting my time with you, but you are wrong. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be loved.”

His throat bobbed, and I worried I was pushing him too fast.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of my actions. I’m the one who carries this burden, and I don’t want you to have to give up anything to be with me.”

“What would I be giving up, JP? Help me understand this.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know if we will ever be more than what we are right now. I know I was young, but I was planning on spending the rest of my life with her. Why should I get to move on when she can’t? I don’t know if I will ever be ready to give you the future that you deserve, and you shouldn’t have to settle for less.”

I jerked back, feeling hurt and offended. “Why are you trying to push me away?”

“Push you?” He scoffed. “You should already be running in another direction by now.”

Not a chance. My love for him didn’t come with a set of conditions. He was everything I wanted and nothing like what I was looking for. And now that I had him, he was crazy if he thought I would give him up without a fight.

“I’m not going anywhere.” My palm rested against his cheek. I was determined to get through to the stubborn man. “My feelings for you are what they are. I know what I can handle and what I can’t. People change, life changes. Maybe there is a future for us or maybe there isn’t. But I know that we won’t know if we don’t try.”

“You really want to stay with me, after everything I just told you? Don’t you want time to process all this?”

Tears ran down my cheeks. “You’re worth taking a chance on. I don’t need time to come up with reasons on why we can’t be together, because I choose you. You are the only man I want, so stop trying to convince me that my love is wasted on you.”

He pressed his forehead against mine. “I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I swear to God, I will never take a moment with you for granted.” He paused. “Please don’t give up on me.”

I gripped his chin, bringing his gaze to mine. “I can do better than that. I promise to fight for every moment we have.”

He shook his head. “It’s not going to be easy.”

I brought my lips to his, needing him to hear the truth in my words. “If it isn’t hard, then it’s not worth it.”

CHAPTER22

JP

“Yes!”I stood from my seat and shouted as number eight’s three-point shot swooshed through the net. Syracuse was now ahead by eleven points, and Maryland’s lead scorer was still on the bench, holding his injured right hand. From the fall he took at the end of the first quarter, there was a good chance his shooting hand was broken.

“Lucky break with Maryland’s point guard, no pun intended.” My brother took a sip of his beer and stretched his legs out.

“It’s called home court advantage.”

“Give us time, we can still screw this up.”

Mike and I were enjoying a college basketball game in one of the box suites at the Carrier Dome. We were huge Syracuse Orange basketball fans growing up. As we got older, we made it a tradition to attend at least one game a year together.

“I talked to Dad. He mentioned things got a little tense at dinner,” he said, tossing a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “I gotta be honest, I’m glad I missed that one.”

“It was the same old bullshit.”

“I figured, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

I stared down at the foam on the top of my beer. “He is who he is. I don’t see him changing anytime soon.”

He nodded his head. “Rylee was probably wondering what she got herself into.”

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