Page 79 of Fumbled Beginning

“She has no quality of life because of me. She might be alive, but she sure as hell isn’t living.”

She crossed her arms again. “Just because you feel guilty doesn’t mean you are. What about the other people that were on that boat that day? Do you think they shoulder some of the blame? Do you think they wonder if there was something they could have done to prevent it?”

“I don’t know, but she wasn’t their girlfriend, she was mine.” I blew out a frustrated breath. “Look, I didn’t come here to rehash my visit with her. I came here to explain what was going on in my head last night.” I pulled on the back of my neck, pissed off that the words weren’t coming out right. “You looked beautiful, and I know I messed up. I planned on waking up and explaining everything that happened yesterday, but when I noticed you were gone, I wanted to throw up. I don’t ever want you to feel unwanted and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I could have handled it better when I found you waiting for me, and if I could go back and do it all over again, I never would have shut you out.”

She went to say something, but a knock sounded on her door.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt.” Dominick poked his head inside. The sight of him had me clenching my fists in anger. “Just wanted to let you know that our car is waiting downstairs.”

Her eyes filled with an apology. “I have to go.”

I looked over at the overnight bag by her desk. “Rylee,” I pleaded, “I need another minute.”

I just laid myself bare at her feet, and she was leaving withhim.

She turned to Dominick. “I’ll be right down.”

He nodded his head and closed the door.

“JP, I don’t have time to talk. Let’s finish this when I get back.”

My shoulders deflated. “Please tell me we’re okay.”

She looked into my eyes, and I hated the hurt I saw. “Let’s take this time apart and get our emotions in order so we can have a productive conversation when I return, okay?”

“I agree to everything but the time apart. I’m not all that thrilled with you leaving me under these circumstances, especially with your ex-boyfriend.”

She glared at me. “Just when I thought we were making progress.”

I scrubbed a hand through my hair. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m edgy and frustrated because I want to make things right between us. I trust you. It’s him I don’t trust. We both know he’s not over you, and I don’t want him to take advantage of how vulnerable you are right now.”

Her body stiffened. “I think you need to stop talking before you dig a bigger hole for yourself.”

I threw my hands up. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

She walked over to her desk, grabbed her phone and keys, and stuffed them in her purse. “For the record, you have nothing to worry about.”

She was wrong about that, but it wasn’t her actions that had me concerned. Seeing that I was already skating on thin ice, I kept my mouth shut.

“Here, let me help you.” I took her bag from her hand and threw it over my shoulder. I reached for her hand, thankful she didn’t pull away, and walked her to the waiting car. I gave the bag to the driver and stepped up to her.

“Please, let me kiss you,” I begged, leaning into her ear.

“Why?” She clenched her teeth. “So, you can make a point in front of Dominick or because you want to?”

“Please don’t do this,” I pleaded with her. “I need you.”

She pressed her hand to my chest and met my eyes. “I know the feeling. That’s how I felt last night.”

There was so much at stake, and I hated everything about this. “Can I at least call you? There is a lot I need to explain.”

“You’ve had lots of time to explain, and if I’m being honest, I’m exhausted. Just give me a little space, okay?” She wiped at her face, pushing away a tear that had fallen.

I was such a selfish asshole, and now I was paying for it dearly.

“I told you I was sorry for everything,” I said, wishing I could wrap her in my arms and make all this disappear.

“I don’t doubt that you’re sorry, but I won’t have a lot of time to talk while I am away. We will sort things out when I get back. I’ll see you in a few days.”

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