Page 16 of The VIP Package

“It’s okay.” One edge of her mouth quirks up. “That pretty much sums up my luck lately.”

“How so?”

She trails her fingers over a dense thatch of hibiscus. “I’m a foodie sex therapist who somehow managed to book a room at a sex resort that currently offers neither food nor sex.”

I chuckle as we round a corner in the path. “If I’m not mistaken, you managed to get both within your first hour on site.”

“I’ve always been an overachiever.”

As we pass a jacaranda tree, there’s a chirp and a flutter from one of the branches. A yellow-billed Amazon parrot squawks out a greeting.

“Fellatio!”

I return the greeting as we stride past. “Good afternoon, McFly.”

Camille skids to a stop. “Wait. Is this the same bird from inside?”

“You met McFly?”

“You named him McFly?”

“I didn’t.” There’s no reason to elaborate on whodid. I don’t speak her name, not ever. “He has free run of the resort. He does enjoy loitering outside the women’s locker room.”

Camille leans closer to peer at him. “Hi, pretty bird.”

“Anilingus.”McFly flaps his wings. “Anilingus!”

“Aren’t you a smart bird?” She looks at me. “Am I to assume whoever named him also taught him a complete glossary of sexual terms?”

“Not complete.” It also wasn’t Brigitte who coached him on that. “He has a repertoire of about four dozen terms, mostly sexual in nature. One of the consorts taught him.”

“Sybil?”

“How do you know Sybil?”

“I don’t. My friend, Eve, mentioned her.” Her smile suggests Eve got to know my resort’s most popular female consort quite well.

“It wasn’t Sybil,” I tell her. “It was a consort from Canada named Zane.”

“Sounds like someone I’d enjoy getting to know.”

“McFly or Zane?”

“Both. Either.” She laughs. “Probably the bird more than the guy.”

I point to a bright-blue door on the corner. “This is you. Your room for the night, that is.”

“Thank you.”

I hand her a key card. “Make sure you know how to use it.”

Camille rolls her eyes. “I think I understand how a key card works.” She waves it in front of the sensor. Nothing happens.

“You need to slide it in all the way.”

She shoots me a salacious look. “That’s what she said.”

But she does what I’ve told her. Still nothing.

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