Page 33 of Saved By The King's Gamma

“Yes, enjoy your time off,” The king tells me, and I smirk, shutting the door before going to find Abbie, who I know won’t have left the room.

I make my way back through the castle, my steps quick and purposeful. The sooner I get her out of here, the better. I know she’s struggling; I can see it in the way she moves around like a ghost of herself, never speaking unless I ask something directly. She hasn’t been eating much, and her sleep is restless at best. I’m terrified that if something doesn’t change soon, I’ll lose her—not to Kade, not to anyone else—but to the darkness she’s fighting every day.

When I reach our room, the heavy silence greets me like a familiar, unwelcome guest. The curtains are still drawn, the dim light filtering through casting long shadows across the walls. Abbie is sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor, her hands clenched tightly in her lap.

She doesn’t even look over when I step inside.

“Abbie,” I say softly, moving toward her. “I spoke to the king. We’re leaving for a few days.”

Her head jerks, her eyes narrowing as if she didn’t hear me right. “What do you mean, we’re leaving?” she asks, her voice tense.

“I mean we’re getting out of here,” I tell her, keeping my tone calm. “Just for a little while. I thought some time away might help—give you a break from being stuck in this room all the time.”

Her expression hardens, and she shakes her head almost immediately. “No. I’m not going anywhere.”

I clench my jaw, already sensing where this is headed. “Abbie, you need this. You haven’t left this room in days. You barely eat, you hardly sleep?—”

“I don’t need a break, Gannon,” she snaps, cutting me off. “What I need is to stay here where it’s safe. I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“It’s not safe to stay locked in here, either,” I argue, stepping closer. “You’re not healing, Abbie. You’re barely holding on.”

She stands abruptly, the sudden movement startling me. Her hands are trembling, but she clenches them tightly at her sides, her voice rising in frustration. “You don’t get it! You don’t know what it’s like to feel like your mind is a prison you can’t escape from. You don’t know what it’s like to live with this—this constant fear that any moment, it’ll all come crashing down again.”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, but I refuse to back down. I can’t. “You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like,” I say firmly. “I’m not going to stand here and watch you waste away in this room because you’re too afraid to take one step forward.”

She glares at me, her breathing heavy. “I didn’t ask you to fix me, Gannon. I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“I’m not trying to fix you,” I say quietly, stepping closer until we’re only a breath apart. “I’m trying to help you. Because I love you, and I can’t stand watching you suffer like this.”

For a moment, something flickers in her eyes—something raw and vulnerable. But just as quickly, it’s gone, replaced by anger.

“I don’t need your help,” she mutters, turning on her heel and storming toward the bathroom. “I don’t need anyone.”

“Abbie—” I start, but she slams the door shut behind her before I can finish.

I stand there for a moment, my heart pounding in my chest. The frustration, the helplessness, it all claws at me, but I force myself to take a deep breath. She’s scared. That’s all this is. She’s scared, and she doesn’t know how to let anyone in. Frustrated, I leave hoping maybe Clarice or maybe Azalea if she isn’t busy can talk some sense into her.

15

I don’t know how long I sit in the shower, letting the scalding water pour over me, but my skin feels raw, like it might peel off entirely if I scrub just a little harder. Maybe that’s the point. Maybe if I can scrub hard enough, I’ll wash away all the filth, all the memories. All of him.

But no matter how hard I try, I can still feel Kade’s hands on me, still taste his vileness lingering in my mouth. It’s like he’s a stain that won’t come off—clinging to my skin, to my soul. I can’t get clean, no matter how many times I do this. No matter how hot the water is. No matter how raw my skin becomes.

I’m tired. So damn tired of this fight. Every day, I wake hoping it’ll be different, hoping that I’ll feel… something other than his hands on me. Something other than this suffocating emptiness. But it’s always the same. The same memories. The same scars. The same shame.

I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t even know what I’m holding on for. Every time I catch my reflection, I see someone I don’t recognize. Someone Kade destroyed. Someone broken.

Tears sting my eyes, but I force them back. What’s the point of crying? No one can fix me. No one can change what happened. And no one can change what I’ve become.

A knock on the bathroom door startles me out of my thoughts, but I don’t respond. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to talk. I just want to be left alone with my misery, as pathetic as that sounds. But then I hear her voice.

“Abbie? It’s me,” Azalea calls softly from the other side of the door.

I freeze, my grip tightening on the scourer in my hand. I don’t want her to see me like this. I don’t want her to see what’s left of me. She’s the queen now. And me? I’m just… nothing. A rogue. You. A broken girl who couldn’t even save herself.

The door creaks open, and I hear her steps as she enters. I should tell her to leave, to go back to whatever important duties she has as the queen, but I can’t find the words. The water keeps pounding down on me, masking the sound of my shallow breathing.

“Abbie?” she whispers again, closer this time. A second later, she opens the shower screen, and I know she can see me now—curled in the corner, scrubbing myself like a woman possessed. But they don’t see what I see, they don’t see the invisible hand prints I feel on my flesh, they don’t feel the cock choking me, or the one tearing me apart. But I feel it all. Like it’s happening all over again.

---