No.
No. No. No.
I wasn’t ready for that to be it.
I wasn’t fucking ready.
I needed to move. To stand. To scream. To throw a chair across the fucking hospital.
But I didn’t. I just sat there, hands caked in her blood. I didn’t even know when I’d taken this seat in the ICU waiting room.
Hard. Plastic. Cold.
A hand landed on my shoulder, and I squeezed my eyes shut like that would make it disappear.
“Sebastian is arranging a bird for us to fly her back once she’s stable. He also took care of the MPDC. Cops won’t be a problem.”
Delara’s voice was steady. Functional. Unbreakable. I hated it.
I hated that she was still functioning, still making calls, still planning ahead.
I didn’t nod.
Couldn’t.
She sat beside me, and I opened my eyes again. My hands—fucking hell—my hands were still red.
They shouldn’t be. They shouldn’t still be red.
“We’re not safe in D.C.,” Delara added. “We’ve got a small team securing the hospital. Should be airtight for the next few hours.”
I didn’t respond. She could’ve told me we were being bombed and I’d have done absolutely nothing.
Let them come.
I wasn’t leaving her behind.
I was still staring at the blood when Dylan gripped my hands. Held them like it would do something.
Warmth. Grounding. Steady.
A tear slipped down my cheek anyway. I didn’t even feel it. Just the burn in its wake.
Dylan knelt in front of me, but I couldn’t look at him.
I couldn’t look into those same gray eyes. The ones that reminded me of hers.
A sob cracked the silence like lightning.
Mine?
His?
I didn’t know.
But when I looked up, Dylan was staring at me—red-rimmed eyes wide and unblinking.
Was he angry? Was there blame in them?