Page 88 of Lovesick Gods

“I know. I just don’t know if I’m up for the risk. Even for the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. Plus, she’s actually pretty funny,” he glanced up at Danny excitedly. “Andsmart, like, she shared this link with me about new CSI tech for Elementals, which I thought was a test for her to see if I was already using stuff like that to catch her, but she totally researched it and understood how it works even if it’s not a field she’s interested in.”

Danny broke into a grin, which caused Andre to shake his head at himself.

“Anyway…your boyfriend would probably ice me for even thinking of taking her out.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Just sleeping with the enemy, then?”

“That was the plan…” Danny let his mind drift to the encounters with Cho that hadn’t only been about sex, like staying over at his apartment watching action movies until all hours, snuggled on the sofa. That was not nemesis or fuckbuddy behavior.

“Look,” Andre said, voice dropping to a timid, serious timbre, “I am totally on board with you exploring your dark side if you’re sure you know what you’re doing, especially if it’s helping. Butis it? Helping? Or is he just another complication you’re going to have to overcome when this is over?”

Danny knew the real answer, even if he didn’t want to admit it. The sex, like Stella had pointed out so succinctly, was just a temporary high that honestly made him feel worse when he was without it, like an addiction. But the other things Cho provided him, a part of that peace lingered long after they were together.

Which was silly, because it was just sharing meals and talking and spending time together, all things he could do with his real friends. Danny didn’t understand why being with Cho was like having everything he needed from his friends and family, but with something more too, something he couldn’t define and had never felt with anyone else.

“I know I need to end it,” Danny said as his eyes drifted past Andre to the glass on the far wall that had so recently been cracked from when he kicked the hospital bed into it. It was fixed now, replaced with a new, unmarred pane. If only people could be fixed as easily. “But I want a little longer with him. A few more weeks, that’s all. He does help. More than I ever expected he could. When I have a good day, most of the time it’s because of him. I know that probably sounds crazy…”

“A little. But nah, I get it. When I push aside my general irritation for the guy, Iwasthe one telling you he’s not all bad a couple weeks ago. And I’d be a hypocrite if I told you to stay away from him when I…might have been considering exploring my own bad idea.” He nodded at the computer screen, and they shared a smile before both expressions faltered. “Do you really think Gaia could ever stop being a bad guy?”

“Maybe. Do you think Cho…?” Danny couldn’t finish the question.

“I don’t know, man. But if that ever happens? No double dates.”

Danny snorted. “Deal.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Andre asked more seriously again. “When you ran out of here last night…”

Thinking back on the evening’s events—on his outburst at Joey, Stella, and John; on how he’d acted with Cho before he snapped out of his anger—Danny’s gaze drifted until he focused on the mended glass again, ready with the usual canned response ofI’m fine. I’ll be fine.But he was so tired of lying.

“I’m not. I’m not okay. I’m trying…but I think I’ve kept some things in for so long, I don’t know how to let them out without exploding. It’s like every resentment and insecurity I’ve ever felt is right under the surface all the time. And god, that must sound so selfish when I’mZeus,” Danny laughed—falsely, miserably. “The local superhero, who the whole city loves, and I’m complaining about bad moods. I don’t have the right to be this messed up when other people have had it so much worse.”

“Dude,” Andre broke in, “there are no rulebooks out there that say only people who look miserable and have a tough life deserve to be depressed. It doesn’t work that way. Just because you have a good job, and a crazy night job, and friends and family who seriously, seriously, man,love you—and ya know, being marginally attractive helps, I’m sure,”—Danny snorted—“that doesn’t mean you can’t be unhappy. If everything was black and white, we wouldn’t need superheroes.”

That was what Danny always wanted to believe, but most days it was hard to see himself as anything but a disappointment. Feeling the lump of sorrow in his throat, he was getting choked up and couldn’t stop it.

He tried to turn away, to brush aside the tears without making it too obvious, but Andre was already on his feet, pulling Danny into a hug. Half of him wanted to resist because everyone was always taking care of him whenhewas supposed to be the one savingthem, but it felt so nice to have his friend hold him.

For so long he’d thought that only Rick and Stella could ever truly understand him, but his circle of friends was wider now. He had Andre. He had Lynn. He had…

Choking on a sob into Andre’s shoulder, Danny wished this was easier, wished everything was easier. “I’m sorry…”

“You can apologize as many times as you need to, man, but my reply is always gonna be the same. I’m here. Whenever you need me. It’ll be okay, Danny.”

Someday. Someday it will.Danny just had to believe that.

Holding on for several moments longer, he finally sniffled as he pulled away. “Thanks. I, uhh…better check my phone. I made a mess of things last night before I left home.”

“Go. Do what ya gotta do,” Andre said, dropping back into his chair. “Just change first and I’ll take care of…” He grimaced as he looked at The Invisible Man still clinging to Danny’s form. “Do I need to sanitize that thing?”

Danny took a moment to consider the question. “Maybe just to be safe?”

“Urg, you so owe me for this.Sparky,” he added teasingly, and somehow it made things better. A little of the truth being out in the open wasn’t as disastrous as Danny had feared.

Once he was dressed, he walked the hallways aimlessly, still inside the safety net of the locked section of the basement nobody knew existed. He prepared himself for the worst as he checked his messages, expecting some twenty odd texts from his dad or maybe more, but there were none. Only a single voicemail blinked at him. It was from Stella.

Moving on autopilot, Danny held the phone to his ear and played her message.

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