Page 62 of Lovesick Titan

“No!” Danny surged forward but held back when Mal stiffened. “I wasn’t. I…I thought about it but Iwasn’t.”

Mal was going to throw up all over Danny’s shoes.

“It wasn’t because of you, it was because of me.” Holding his arms around his middle, Danny looked as though that was the only way to keep him from reaching out. “I told you, I’ve been messed up lately, but you made it better. You made it easier. Then I had to go and mess that up too.”

Mal shook his head as he backed up. He’d hated Danny and he’d hated himself, but this was so much more destructive than he’d realized. “We can’t do this. You need to be away from me. I won’t be yourcrutch.”

“That’s not—” Danny’s eyes widened in alarm. Arms dropping, he followed after Mal, assuredly but cautious. “That’s not what I meant. That’s not what you were. I tried to make you that, tried to use you that way, but I liked being with you. Not just sleeping with you, but sharing a meal. Watching a movie. Walking the neighborhood. Being Zeus and Prometheus together. You weren’t a crutch then, you were that feeling of being…” His eyes lit up brighter as his words trailed off.

“What?” Mal prompted.

Smiling in a way that crinkled the corners of his eyes, Danny said, “Home. I don’t always feel that way at my dad’s anymore. I haven’t felt that way much of anywhere since Mom… Like I could be me without having to pretend anything. And I know I’m a hypocrite for saying that, because Iwaspretending at first. And I’m sorry for that, Mal. I am. I know I have a long way to go to get better, and the last thing I want is to be a burden on you, but I don’t want to do this without you.”

He stepped closer, and again Mal wanted to back away. Not because he didn’t want to be near Danny or feel the warmth of him close, but because hedidwant that, so badly, but he still feared this was a mistake.

“It’s not because you’re a crutch,” Danny said, looking straight into Mal’s eyes, steady and earnest. “Being with you makes me happy.And maybe that sounds like the same thing, and it’s not fair to you, I know that, but I just want to be happy again. I need to find that in myself, I’m working on it, but why does that mean I have to give you up? If…” Inching closer, tentative, like it was days ago and he feared that moving too quickly meant he’d get iced for his troubles, he reached for Mal’s hand. “If you want me too.”

“Danny…” Mal trembled as their skin touched, as if an electric shock passed through him from Danny’s fingertips brushing the back of his hand. He didn’t forgive. Or forget. He didn’t move past pain, he buried it six feet under. Healing never crossed his mind.

But it had been so good in the beginning. Wild and hot and electric just like Danny. The slow pace, the sweet words, the deep emotions and calm moments of being beside each other that had taken Mal by surprise, and he was never snuck up on, never out-maneuvered or out-planned. He couldn’t turn away from this, even if part of him still feared a trap in letting his guard down.

Danny’s eyes looked golden, damp but still clear as he moved closer, and Mal let him glide soft fingers around his with a gentle grip. Smiling enough to crinkle his eyes again, Danny made Mal’s heart stutter with a single look.

“I love you, Mal.”

And all at once the air rushed from his lungs.

“I should have said it days ago, and I know I don’t deserve to say it at all. I didn’t expect it, didn’t want it when this started. I wanted to wallow in anger and ruin something beautiful because I didn’t think I’d ever get beautiful for myself. But you changed me.” Danny leaned closer, enough that Mal’s breath caught once more and he couldn’t bring himself to move. “There is good in you, Mal. And there is something rotten in me. Because we’re just people. Part of me wishes I could go back and erase it all. Do it better. Do it differently. But trying to change the past doesn’t do anyone any good.”

The sadness and darkness Mal noticed behind Danny’s eyes that first night were still present, but whatever part of this had been fake, Mal knew this moment wasn’t.

“Even if you could never love me again, and maybe never forgive me, all I’d ever want is for you to see that I’m trying. To be better. To be more likeyou.”

Mal’s instincts were to pull away, because he wasn’t—

“I made that deal with you because I saw the good in you that no one else did,” Danny squeezed his hand tighter, like he knew what Mal was thinking, “but you’re the one who changedme. You’re so much more than you think you are. I wish we could…not start over. Not over. Just again. I wish we could start again.”

There had been too many days of Mal’s eyes feeling this hot. Danny had cracked him open and left him vulnerable in ways he hadn’t known in years, in ways he’d never allowed with anyone else. He hated it. Heneededit. He was addicted and trapped and couldn’t breathe for all the ways this might blow up in their faces.

Mustering the strength to pull his hand away, Mal shook his head at those haunting, downturned eyes that looked at him with such pleading. “Say we solve the old problems. Say we forgive. Move on. What then? What about everything else? I’m a criminal. You’re a hero. You can never be seen in public with me outside the safety of this neighborhood or behind your mask. Even that’s a risk.

“What about your family?” Mal pushed on when Danny attempted to counter him. “You gonna tell me your father approves of this? What about the next time I commit a heist?” He stepped closer, making Danny back up this time. “Because it’s not the same anymore, not after this escalated. And I know that’s on me.”

The sting of vulnerability in Mal’s chest wasn’t just from how Danny made him feel, but how Danny made him want to act. Danny had been changing the rhythm of Mal’s strides since the moment they met.

“Thought I had you figured out, so I pushed. I was wrong. I’m sorry I did that to you, Danny. You deserved my anger, but you didn’t deserve that. But what comes next? There are complications to this we won’t even think about until they’re snapping their jaws at us.”

“I know. You’re right,” Danny said, looking down at his feet before he summoned some unseen strength to look up again and smile. “You’re right. But there’s one thing you keep forgetting.”

When Danny didn’t finish the thought, Mal readied himself to ask ‘what?’, to find out just what the kid was grinning about, only for the apartment door behind Danny’s back to open.

“Oh!” Carla stood there, jacket on but not zipped, while she held the curve of her extended belly. Michael was with her, blinking at Maland Danny from beside his mother’s legs, which was about the time Mal realized that the front of Carla’s shirt and all down her leggings was soaking wet.

“Youarehis friend,” Michael said with a triumphant look at Danny.

“Uhh…” Danny glanced back and forth between Michael, Mal, and Carla, clearly noticing the state of her clothes.

“Carla,” Mal stepped toward her, “you have more than three weeks to go.”

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