Page 145 of Don Caselli

It was like he was thinking about something and had smiled because he remembered. “We can buy that big house that we wanted, and everyone can move in.”

“Mamas, that was just talk. Your uncles ain’t bout to move with their parents. Maybe your aunt and grandparents, but they asses ain’t about to move into nothing with them.”

I laughed because he was right. “You right. I’m having him set up accounts for everyone.”

My father’s facial expression became serious. “Navy, none of this shit means nothing. If you’re not happy, give this shit back. We’re happy either way… we’ve always been good and will get through. I don’t want you to think you have to take anything because of us.”

“Dad, remember when we had a conversation last year, and I told you that I felt like I couldn’t breathe when I was around Antwan.”

“I remember.”

We were sitting on the stoop and were having one of our daddy/ daughter late night chats. I was drinking a wine cooler, and he had a beer. Antwan had come over and kissed me before going to some party in Harlem with his cousins.

“Daddy, I love him. He makes me so happy… he sees me. I’ve never felt emotionally safe with a man before.”

My father stared me in the eyes, searching them. “Okay, Mamas.”

“How didyou get them to allow us to have food while trying on clothes?” I asked Stevie, who was looking at her body. “Stevie, you look perfect.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You’re beautiful… and you had a baby. It’s normal for you not to bounce back. Don’t let those celebrities get you thinking that you should be smaller.”

She took a deep breath. “Mavie tells me all the time that I’m beautiful, and the fact that he still wants to sniff it, should make me feel better.”

“Sniff it?”

“Long story,” she waved her hand, picked up another dress, and put it up against her. “Nobody tells you how much you change when becoming a mom.”

“I’ve heard it’s the best and worse hood to be in,” I laughed, because it was a saying my mother and aunt always said when it came to motherhood.

“Sums it up perfectly. I love my baby, but the things I loved before don’t excite me. Painting in my studio isn’t the same, and working at the gallery is a struggle, too. I like to stay in the house most of the time.”

“Do you have friends, Stevie?”

“My cousin Skyler is my best friend, and Greene. I know she’s my assistant, but she’s my friend, too… at least I like to think she is.”

Greene considered Stevie a friend, but she also knew she was her boss, she tried hard not to cross those lines. “What about your sister-in-law’s?”

“They’re family. Me and Zoya text back and forth. Kora is too busy, but we catch up, too. It’s hard to have friends in this life. Not everyone understands why I’m with security all the time, or why they can’t come to my home. My husband is someone that not everyone knows. I protect him and I’m very protective of him.”

“We can be friends. I know, I know, it sounds very childish.”

Stevie turned around and smiled at me. “Hi, I’m Stevie Caselli… I’m a first time mom, gallery owner, and I’m an artist.”

Laughing, I shook her hand. “I’m Navy Bleu Perkins. I’m a dog mom, book lover, and a content creator.”

We both started laughing because we were being weird. “Thanks, Navy. Sometimes I get in my head, and with Mavie being away for work, I miss him. I’m doing the baby thing alone.”

Her security cleared his throat. “The fuck am I, Steve-o?”

“Duke helps me with night feedings, too… sorry Duke.”

He nodded his head and went back to pushing the stroller back and forth to keep the baby quiet. “You don’t have any help.”

“Don’t trust anyone. I’m paranoid, I know.”

“You’re a mother, not paranoid,” I assured her, because I could only imagine the emotions that you went through when you became a mother.

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