Page 64 of Don Caselli

I returned a few text messages and ignored Kennedy’s message before putting my phone back down. My body was tired from fucking the shit out of Navy this morning. She had me feeling like a sucka because while I was up here sleep on my stomach like a baby; she was downstairs.

Soon as I opened the door, the smell of bacon was stronger, and music and Navy singing could be heard. I dipped into the bathroom before heading downstairs, where I found her flipping pancakes.

There were grocery bags on the counter, along with all the ingredients for breakfast. She turned around with the mixing bowl in her hand and jumped when she saw me. She was so damn beautiful with her hair pulled into a bun, wearing one of my shirts and my house slippers on her feet. The size swallowed her feet up, but she made do with them.

“Morning, sleepy face. I tried to wake you, and you were so quiet.”

John Legend’s “So High”played low in the background, as she went to pause the song. “Morning… you went out?”

“No, I ordered groceries on my grocery app for the nearest supermarkets. I figured you would like to wake up to breakfast.”

Her standing in the kitchen, the smell of breakfast being cooked, and the warmth that lit up the house had me feeling overstimulated or maybe overwhelmed. Either way, I pulled the drawer out in the kitchen and grabbed a black and mild.

“Give me a minute… cool?”

She nodded her head. “Take your time.”

I headed toward the back porch, and sat down in the chair, sparking the black and mild. Taking a pull, I looked around the bare backyard. So much had changed back here. There used to be thick ass trees that hid everything around the fence, but the neighbors had petitioned to get them removed.

This house meant everything to me because it had been home. I was too young to really remember our home that we shared with my parents. All I could remember was this house. Menace tried like hell to make this house into a home, and to make sure we always had everything we needed. He took the basement because he wanted to make sure we all had our own rooms. Although Jeffie shared with Zoya because they were close, and Angelica had taken over the room that was meant for Menace.

He gave it to her and took the unfinished basement, where he spent most of his time. There was so much I remembered about our time in this house. My brother’s presence was a surprise because he was always gone.

Always doing.

I never pretended to know the shit he went through or the pain he carried. There was so much that I knew Menace had and wore on his back that he would never talk to us about. Kora was his secret keeper. She knew more about him than me and Zoya, and I wished he opened up to me.

He was so hardened.

Not able to let down his walls, even when it came to his own family. I wanted to be my brother’s keeper, but it was hard when we both acted the same when it came to letting people in. How could we get to the point where I could vent to my brother, and he could do the same to me? Seeing Navy downstairs cooking, bringing life back into this home had me slightly emotional. It reminded me of times when Zoya would be doing her homework at the counter, I would be at the kitchen table while Kora and Angelica cooked dinner together.

The TV would be on in the next room, and Corleon and Jeffie would be watching the world news together. Everyone had their own corner of the house, but the main living area was important to us. Being in each other’s space but not crowding it was something that I missed. Menace, every so often, would come up from the basement and would grab what Angelica would make him.

She always had this look that was reserved for him. Angelica always made sure Menace had what he needed, never skipping a step when it came to him. He never allowed anyone to get close to him, but she was the exception.

“Hey.” I turned to see Navy standing there with a mug of coffee in her hand.

Putting out my smoke, I signaled for her to come. She climbed into my lap, carefully handing me the coffee. “Coffee and breakfast… fucked you that good?”

She smiled, exposing that side dimple. “You always do.”

I sipped the coffee and nodded my head in approval. “Not too sweet, and packs a punch. Where you learn to make coffee?”

“Nana taught me.” It was how she saidNana, as if she was mine, too. “She made Poppa his coffee every morning before work. There’s a science to making good and strong coffee.”

I put the mug to my mouth and nodded my head. “You got that down right.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

She raised her brow. “You don’t get to kidnap me from my block, bring me to this home that clearly means a lot to you, and fuck the hell out of me, but close up when it comes time to being honest.”

“It’s not that deep, Bleu.”

“Yeah, you’re right… not that deep.” She folded her arms and looked away, trying to mind fuck me like she didn’t care.

“Seeing you make breakfast in that kitchen reminded me of a time when we all used to live here… when it felt like home. I haven’t felt that way in a long time, Bleu. Angelica and Jeffie ended up moving away. Kora went away to college and eventually it felt like we went our own way. It was only me and Menace before I eventually went away to college the first time.”

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