Page 85 of Don Caselli

“Not as much, but I know that he has taken a new role within their family business, and that explains the security and that case they pulling out the back of the trunk. I’m only saying this because we’re family and I know you won’t run your mouth. Being with a Caselli comes with a lot. Landon likes you, Navy. I don’t think this is just sex for him.”

“Don’t think it’s just sex for me, either,” I admitted, while still staring at him. He had finally looked away, and our eyes met. He winked at me while talking on the phone.

“Just want you to know and remember what comes with this life.”

“Yeah.”

After waiting an hour for us to get clearance to take off, we were all settled into our seats. It was in the early hours of the morning and just hours after we were sitting on a stoop beefingwith each other. Now, I was being whisked away to St. Lucia for my birthday, and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

Greene moved to the other side, giving Landon her seat. I sat with my legs tucked underneath me with my kindle in my hand. He had his iPad in his hand and was busy doing something while I peacefully read my book.

Ever since Landon collided into my life, I didn’t make enough time to read. My page dedicated to my reading had been neglected, so I planned to get reading in on this trip and update them in real time. All my campaigns that I needed to shoot were handled so I was free for the week.

“Pooh?” I looked up and our eyes met as I smiled. “You good?”

“I am. Never been on a jet before.”

“First time of many,” he replied nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just tell me that he would keep me on jets.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Landon sat his iPad down and continued to stare at me. I could tell our conversation back at my apartment weighed heavily on his mind, because it weighed on mine. I was scared to tell him that I was pregnant. Only because I didn’t want him to look at me differently. Like I was looking at myself in this moment. Being so irresponsible with my body that I had done the thing that I had told myself I would never do.

I was so angry with myself for being reckless with my body. I’ve always been hard on myself, so that was nothing new. With Landon, I felt safe enough to tell him what was going on. Antwan had never made me feel that way. He would have demanded I keep the baby, even without knowing if he was the father or not.

“Come here.” He motioned for me to come to him, so I unbuckled and climbed into his lap.

Kissing my temple, he wrapped his big arms around me, and I melted against his chest, feeling so safe and secure in his arms. I hated that I was the kind of person that always waited for the other shoe to drop. I could never enjoy the good because sometimes I didn’t feel like I deserved that. It was easy to become caught up in all that came with Landon, but what if he decided this was too much for him?

That he wanted to become a father one day, and I wasn’t the woman for him. I would have rather him leave now before ever getting deep in a relationship with me. Our feelings were already involved, so I knew it would be hard to end things, but it wasn’t impossible. I’ve detached from Antwan, and I was with him since a teen.

“What you thinking about?”

I laughed. “Is it that obvious?”

Greene was sitting across from Bean with her blanket over her head, sleep. He was watching something on his computer, hand rubbing her foot while she slept peacefully. The cabin lights were dimmed, and it was quiet, aside from the complimentary white noise planes usually made when up in the air.

“Us.”

Squeezing me tighter, and settling further into the seat, he turned me to look at him. “What about us?”

“I have a lot going on with me, Landon. What if you decide this was fun while it lasted and then decide to peace me out? You do have that right, and I can’t even be mad.”

“You told me that you can’t afford another heartbreak. I saw how hurt and broken you were in that studio. I don’t do broken. I’m usually the one that’s, according to you, causing the wreckage.”

I laughed, remembering what I had told him in the studio. “Was I lying?”

His response was delayed as our eyes met again. “Nah.”

Before knowing Landon, I could tell he was a man that got whatever he wanted. With access to the amount of money he had, and being able to do whatever he wanted, settling down with someone was so far out of his reach and thought process. He wanted fun, and that was exactly what he had, never knowing how many he hurt getting his fun out.

“The thing is, I never cared about the damage I caused. I’m always honest about what I want, never leading women on. It’s the reason I never feel bad because they set those expectations while knowing what I wanted with them. You… Pooh, you fucking different.”

“How?”

“I give a fuck about hurting you, Navy. The thought of me doing you like I’ve done in the past makes my chest hurt, because I never want to hurt you… I ain’t never felt like this before. You didn’t just open yourself up to me, but your family. Fucking accepted me like they have known me for years.”

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