Page 49 of Blood and Ruin: The Complete Series

“After you… left, we went searching for you.”

My stomach drops. I swallow hard, blinking back the burn threatening to spill. Of course, they searched for me, I would have done the same for them.

“Five determined teenagers out scouring the town and surrounding cities, but you just disappeared. We spent days and weeks that turned into months before we… before we realised you weren’t coming back.”

The agony in his tone chokes me as his grip tightens.

“We thought you were dead.”

They thought I was… How could they?

I didn’t think… I squeeze my eyes tighter feeling the tears run down my face. Those five little words destroy me.

I feel disgusted with myself for not thinking what my leaving would do. Knowing they would miss me… But this, having them think I was not only gone but permanently, made me want to succumb to that dark place inside me, the guilt too much to bear.

“It devastated us all, slowly ripping us apart.”

What?

“But you’re all so close?” I can see it in the way they look out for one another. The way they stick together and move as one. Just like before, Kai leans on Rion for his opinion on things of importance. Luka and Jax always stick up for one another, no matter what, and have that bond only twins seem to have. And Axel… Axel was still stubborn and hot tempered, but they always listened to him. They’re constantly watching out for him, and always have his back.

“That took us a while to get back to. You were everything to us, the centre of our whole world, and you were gone. Taking the heart out of our little group destroyed us. We couldn’t go back to what we were and had to figure out a new way to exist.” Hearing the deep anguish in his voice breaks something inside me. The guilt tightens around my chest, trying to suffocate me.

As if Luka can once again hear the remorse in my thoughts, he dips his head brushing soft kisses along my shoulder before brushing his cheek against mine.

A sliver of warmth enters my hollow chest as he embraces me.

“You’re loved, Kiarra. More than you know. Whatever is going on with you, whatever it is you feel you can’t tell us… Just know that I’m here… We all are, and we’re not going anywhere.”

How could he still care after everything he just told me? They still think I just left them. ThatIdidn’t care, instead choosing a life full of extravagance.

The truth was I cared too much. I couldn’t let them in, not fully. Not with me still in King’s grip, his threat hanging over me like a ticking bomb. Making me want to push Luka away. To tell him to leave with the others and get as far away from here as possible.

I couldn’t lose them, not like that. They needed to live a full life and I would never be able to give that to them. My own too dark, too tainted to share.

I stifle the emotion trying to suffocate me but must not do a good job of it as Luka’s grip tightens once more.

“Don’t let the darkness win. Push it back and fight. I’ll be right there with you. Always.”

His promise both terrifies and elates me. Knowing he means every word but also seeing the danger it will bring with it, should he follow through. King will always be the poison that ruins anything good for me.

Luka leans over me, his warm breath sending tingles across my neck.

“Get some sleep, I’ll stay for a bit.” He kisses my head before lying back down behind me.

I squeeze my eyes tight, begging sleep to call me.

Sensing my irritation, Luka’s hands warm up, easing my overtired muscles and mind. After a few minutes, my eyes slowly drift shut as Luka’s calming scent full of hints of chaos and night envelops me in a warm embrace.

CHAPTER 12

Aloud bang shoots me out of bed, alert and ready for the oncoming attack. Even if I knew what was coming, I need to be on guard. Just because I could heal myself didn’t mean it hurt any less.

“Kiarra, open up, it’s us.”

At the sound of Kai’s voice my adrenaline rush eases. I grab my chest and close my eyes letting out a deep breath.

I force the sheer terror and rising panic down, focusing on the present.

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