Page 36 of Wreck Me

Nico shook his head ruefully. “April first was her favorite day of the year.”

Ginny reached across the table and briefly pressed her hand against Claire’s. “It’s my favorite day too!”

His mother half covered her mouth as if she only wanted Ginny to hear what she was about to say. “The real test is howred your cheeks got. You two are crunchy pickles for sure.” She put her hand back down and looked right at Nico. “So, Nico, when are you going to ask her out?”

Nico’s breath caught. She said his name. As he turned to face his mother, Ginny stilled and stopped laughing. The whole world stilled.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked his mother.

“I should hope so. Either that or I changed the wrong kid’s diapers for four years.”

“Oh, Mom.” Leaving his seat, he bent to one knee in front of her, then reached up and rested a hand lightly over hers. It felt like she had returned from somewhere far, far away. “It’s so good see you. Do you know where you are?”

She rolled her age-sunken eyes. “What kind of question is that?” Her hands flew up in an irritated, fluttery motion. “Now, get up off the floor and make us all that pot of tea I asked you for an hour ago. I raised you better than to be rude to guests, especially pretty ones.” She winked at Ginny.

Nico rose and exited the booth, but Ginny slipped out of her seat too. “Nico already made the tea,” she lied. “And, yesterday, he baked some of your favorite cookies.” She motioned for Nico to return to his seat at the booth, then moved to the stove with barely a hint of a limp. She poured hot water into a waiting teapot and brought that to the table, followed by a small tray with cups, milk, sugar, and lemon bars. “Don’t they smell amazing?” Only after Nico had scooted over to make room for Ginny on the bench seat did he notice that there were only two cups on the tray.

She bent and whispered in his ear. “I’ll make myself scarce. Treasure every moment you can.” To his mother she smiled as she backed out of the room. “I’ll just be gone a minute.”

His mother grinned up at Ginny, a happy quirk to her lips. “Hurry back!”

Once Ginny left, his mother reached a hand toward him over the table and looked him straight in the eyes. Her eyebrows raised and lowered as she tilted her head in the direction Ginny had gone. “That girl is a little bit magical, I think.”

Nico began pouring the tea. “I’m starting to think so too.”

17

Ginny managed to keep her composure until she got outside. She was halfway to the back yard when she stopped and leaned against the exterior of the house for support. The late morning sun in a near cloudless sky warmed the painted siding. Her ankle felt okay, but the world around her pulsed.

Through the slightly open kitchen window to her left came the happy murmur of Nico and his mother’s long-awaited reunion. She couldn’t make out the words and didn’t want to. This was his moment. She could easily imagine how much it meant to him, and she was thrilled their plan had worked. He was getting to talk to his mother again as her son.

Her mind replayed how Nico had been unable to speak when his mother had first recognized him, how one fluid movement had brought him to her side, how he’d bent to one knee and reached for her hand, how his eyes had fastened on his mother as if she were the most valuable of lost treasures. It had been so emotionally raw, so intimate—something she never would have expected from a man like Nico.

She was happy for him…so why did it feel like her insides were dissolving in an acid bath, never to be reconstituted again.

Why was she so upset?

When her eyes filled with tears, finally, she understood. Nico had been gifted the chance to be with his mother again, but that could never happen for Ginny. Not her mother and not her father. What she wouldn’t give to sit across the table from her parents, see their sweet smiles, listen to them make each other laugh, serve them tea and cookies from a vintage tray. But no house remodel could work that miracle. All she would ever have were gradually fading memories.

She closed her eyes and tilted her face to the sky. For the next few minutes while the sun blazed the insides of her eyelids a screaming red, she let herself sink into the pain, greet it straight on, and say its name: grief. It was good to know what it was. Grief was something she dealt with daily—she often lit the little candle under her parents’ wedding photo in her bedroom—but seeing how Nico adored his mother had awoken those feelings with an intensity that made a familiar emotion momentarily unrecognizable.

“To Mom and Dad,” she said to the tear-blurred horizon once she re-opened her eyes. It was the phrase she usually said in unison with her sisters at Sunday brunch, but she also said it when she was alone. Attached to it was the strength she drew from her siblings, the strength to keep going.

She looked down at the mulch at her feet. The daisies and hostas she’d planted there (while keeping Annie from turning them into pressed flowers) seemed content in their new home. That was the same day she and Nico had the cookout under the stars. He’d gotten down onto his knees then, too, chasing escaped veggie dogs. But that had been so different than this time. Her mind recalled again how he’d bent to one knee before his mother in the kitchen.

Ugh! Why couldn’t she stop instant-replaying that?

She pushed herself off the siding and moved toward the back yard. Quick steps brought her to the oak tree. A trio of dogs dozed beneath it with upturned tummies, like seals on a sun-washed rock. They each acknowledged her approach in the most energy-efficient way possible—the wiggle of a paw, the opening and closing of a single eye, the limp flop of a tail. Her ankle was much better but wasn’t fond of the soft, uneven ground. She sat down with her back against the tree.

Ginny rarely stood still and even more rarely sat still. Her lengthy house to-do list called to her, including outside tasks, but she preferred not to tempt fate with her ankle. A few days ago, she’d downloaded the movie “Up” onto her phone, just out of curiosity. Why not watch it now? At least it would take her mind off things.

The first few minutes had her crying all over again, but once the Boy Scout showed up, Ginny found herself laughing. Why had it taken her so long to watch this movie? It was adorable. As a bonus, the old man’s place did look a lot like her house.

About an hour later, her phoned pinged with a text from Nico.Join us for lunch?

If you want me to,she replied.

As if those words had been his signal, Nico appeared at the back door. Stacked and balanced in his left arm were three bowls of dog food. The dogs heaved to their feet and wagged their tails expectantly. “Sit,” he said to them, which, surprisingly, they did.

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