Page 77 of Matched Up

‘Nah, ruining things is my job.Come on.’

I didn’t fight him as he led me back to the house, then upstairs.He told the people on my bed to piss off and waited while I lay down on top of the covers and closed my eyes.

But he was gone when I opened them again.I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom where I threw up everywhere.

I slept on the bathroom floor, the cold tiles soothing against my hot face.And despite how ill I felt, I wished it would get worse,anythingto mask the pain of what I’d just done.

27

I woke up with a dry mouth, a sore neck, a thumping headache and a blanket over me.Still on the bathroom floor.And for a few seconds that’s all it was.A hangover.Until it hit me, and the tears were back, my chest was heaving as I lay there on the floor curled up like a wounded animal.

Eventually I pulled myself off the tiles, got undressed and stepped into the shower.The same shower that we’d used that perfect evening.

When I got out, I looked at my phone, hoping for a missed call or a message.And I almost threw up again when I looked at WhatsApp, at the messages I’d sent Shane.

ME: Hpnter kissed me i don’t like him

ME: I love u Shane.Im sry for t other nite I just want to no your secrts cos I love u

ME: U hav a grlfrend?Who is GRae/

ME: I feel sik I wish u were here

He hadn’t replied to any of them.

There was a knock at my door.‘Lexie?’

Megan walked in before waiting for an answer.She took one look at my face and rushed towards me, pulling me into a hug and the tears started all over again.

‘I tried to move you last night, but you wouldn’t budge, so I just brought a blanket.I should have stayed in here with you.’

I shook my head as I cried.‘I don’t deserve it.Shane, he saw.’

‘Saw what?The Hunter thing?’

I nodded.

‘But, look, he came to see you.Came to your house when the whole team were here, the ones who hate him, who were saying horrible shit to him!That has to mean something.’Megan had her hands on my shoulders and was looking into my swollen eyes.

‘But I ruined it.’

Megan shook her head.‘You weren’t together.And you had a good reason to break up with him.Stop blaming yourself for everything, Lexie.Look.Get dressed for football, let’s tidy the house and then later on we can chill out and make a plan?Yeah?’

I couldn’t speak so I just hugged her.

‘Football.Shit.’

Megan laughed.‘Yeah.At least one of us was sensible last night.See you when you’re ready.’

Then I was alone again.I got dressed in shorts and my Westing shirt.I’d almost put on Shane’s zip top just to remember his smell, but even picking it out of my drawer made me cry all over again and I couldn’t bring myself to put it over my head.

When I emerged I saw bodies everywhere.On the couch, on the floor, the smell of alcohol thick in the air.

Fuck.

I walked downstairs and it was the same deal: kids everywhere, half-empty beer bottles on every surface.I looked at the wooden floor and saw pools of alcohol and abandoned bits of food.I couldn’t even think about Shane right now.

Niall walked out of the kitchen with a half-full bin bag and a face like thunder.

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