Page 83 of Matched Up

I stayed in my room when Niall left, thinking about all the things he’d just said.How it had been so painfully obvious to everyone that I was falling apart and keeping secrets had just been their way of protecting me.And I felt OK about it.Because for the first time, I understood.

A week later, my calf was starting to feel slightly better.I’d spent the last seven days spaced out on painkillers and sadness, and I couldn’t take it any more.The silence.So I sent him a message.

ME: Hey.Can we talk?

ME: Please?

I watched as the little ticks turned to blue, so I knew he’d read it, but there was no reply.

Then the physio came to the house, with grey hair and a smile that was trying its hardest to make me smile too.But I couldn’t.Not when I’d just reminded myself how much Shane hated me.

‘Nice to meet you, Alexandra.So football’s your poison?’She laughed good-naturedly.

‘I guess,’ I said.

She showed me exercise after exercise – and they all hurt.

‘Every day.You need to be doing these every day multiple times.Do I have your word?’

I nodded.

‘I’ll help.’

I turned to see Niall watching me do the exercises.

‘Brilliant.Always great to have family members who are willing to lend a hand.Come and watch how to do these properly.’She waved Niall over and he watched intently as I completed each exercise.

My heart swelled.This was the old Niall, the one who was part of my team.

When Annie left, Niall sat with me, and we watchedBack to the Future.Our old favourite movie.

‘So, Megan then …’ I was ready.Ready to talk to him about it.‘Do you love her?’

‘Yeah,’ he said without hesitation.‘I don’t know what I’m going to do when she leaves,’ he said sadly.

‘You can go and visit her.And anyway, seeing as the scout’s interested, she might not even be in London.’

‘She’ll still be in England.’

‘I wish I’d applied somewhere over there now,’ he said.And I wished the same.Now I didn’t have Shane, I didn’t want to be here.I’d just got Niall and Megan back and now I was going to lose them all over again.

I remember when we’d made the decision to stay at home.We didn’t want to split up, and even the idea of going to different universities felt ridiculous.

‘You could always transfer?’I suggested.‘I bet they do sports science degrees in loads of places.’

‘You wouldn’t mind?’he asked, his eyes lighting up at the prospect.

I sighed.‘I think it’s weird, maybe kind of cringe, but even though you were right about having separate lives –’

‘I felt really bad about saying that.’

I shook my head.‘It’s fine.I just meant that even though we’re our own people, I think we’ll always have that connection, and even if you’re on the other side of the world, I reckon we’ll still be in each other’s lives.So you weren’ttotallyright.’I stuck out my tongue.

He shrugged.‘I never thought about it like that … You’re right.Itiscringe.’He laughed.‘But true.’

‘But, yeah, the Megan-in-England thing, you should thinkabout it anyway.She clearly loves you too.’I rolled my eyes and laughed.

‘Do you still lovehim?’Niall asked, and my breath caught in my throat.

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