Page 48 of Some Saviors Can Break You

“You have a nephew?”

“He’s ten, was born just a month before my brother died. After his death his wife struggled a lot, in the end, she couldn’t cope with losing her husband, and she took her life two years to the day after his death. My mom was the one who looked after Joey, but then she got sick, and I was balancing school and looking after her and my nephew.”

“You really love your family.” The look on Florence’s face was wistful, and he knew she wished she’d had a family who loved her.

“I did. I do,” he corrected, they weren't all gone.

“Where is your nephew now?”

“After my mom and then my dad died, I assumed that I would keep Joey, he’d lived in that house, with me and my parents his whole life, but his other grandparents filed for custody. I fought them, used the fact that they were poor against them, and argued that I could give him a better life and that I could give him anything he wanted.” Eli burned with shame as he recalled how dirty he had made that case, determined to win at any cost because he didn't want to lose another person that he loved.

“You realized that he needed more than money though, that he needed someone who could be there for him day and night,” Florence said gently, reaching out a hand to cover his.

“How did you know that?” he asked, surprised that she had accurately figured out what had happened.

“Because I know you,” she said with a smile. “You have a good heart, anyone who would feed his dying mother homemade soup, and look after his nephew like he was his own son would do what was best for the child and not himself.”

“Joey was lonely, he didn't say anything, didn't complain, but I know he would get upset when I'd miss school plays and baseball games. His grandparents could give him what Icouldn’t, and I dropped the case. I still see him as often as I can, and I pay support every month so that they can give him everything he needs.”

“You spoil him rotten, don’t you?”

“He’s the only family I have left. Had,” he corrected, because this woman sitting before him was exactly what he needed to move forward, have a family of his own. “You should get some more sleep.”

“I am tired,” Florence admitted, fighting back a yawn.

“I’ll be right back.” Eli picked up the tray, returned it to the kitchen, tidied up, and then went back to Florence’s bedroom. He found her sitting up in bed right where he’d left her.

“I don’t think I even have the energy to lie down,” she said when she saw him.

“I can help with that.” He kicked off his shoes, then threw back the covers and slid into the bed beside her.

“What are you doing?”

“Staying here with you so you’re not alone.” Curling an arm around Florence’s shoulders, he helped her shuffle down and then lay down, he tucked a pillow under her head, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and settled her against his chest. “Sleep, princess. I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying right here with you, close your eyes and sleep. I got you, baby, you're not alone anymore.”

Neither was he.

After a decade of loss, losing his brother, watching his mother waste away as she battled cancer, losing her and then his dad, and then giving up his nephew, he was tired of being alone and tired of losing the people he loved. Florence filled that void, made him feel hope again like the future wasn't one endless abyss of loneliness.

“I'm right here,” he said again, more to reassure himself this time, then he kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, comforted by the warm, soft body, pressed up against his.

7:46 P.M.

There would be no mistakes this time.

None.

Mess ups were for failures. How many times had he been called a failure in his life?

Hundreds?

Thousands?

He wasn't sure, but more than he cared to think about.

As a child, it had been the often repeated mantra in his house. Why hadn't he gotten straight A’s on his report cards? Why didn't he make the basketball team? The baseball team? The football team? Why wasn't he smart enough? Why wasn't he sporty enough? Why wasn't he good enough?

There were, of course, no answers to those questions.

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