It was more than nice. I hadn’t felt this comfortable in decades. Only a few days around Logan and all my loner tendencies were falling away. I didn’twantto be alone. It was just safer, and, I guess, a form of penance I’d forced on myself. I’d paid it willingly, albeit miserably, for the last sixty-odd years.
Caden didn’t know that. Letting me back in was something I’d never fully expected of him, and even if it was in dire circumstances, I was so fucking grateful that he had.
Logan’s fingers curled into my fur. She was sound asleep, at least if her breathing was any indication, and it made my heart flip-flop that she reached out while she was vulnerable.
Fuck.
Stop thinking like that.
There was no direction where this ended well. I could try to steal Logan and ruin things for the rest of eternity with Caden. I could leave and find someone else, giving up on ever being with the woman of my dreams, or having a relationship with Caden because I couldn’t control my desire around Logan. I imagined itwould only get worse with time. Or I could stick around, pitifully loving her from the sidelines.
...Love.
Brain, you put that fucking thought right back where you found it.
Fuck.
Bad idea. So bad. The literal worst fucking idea. Loving Logan would be agony. I had to scale that slippery slope. It was bad enough when I just wanted to fuck her.
She made a soft sound and her face rooted against the back of my neck, her cheek rubbing against my fur.
Fuck it all to hell.
I squeezed my eyes shut and they popped right back open when Caden set a hand on my shoulder.
You okay?
Doing super.
Seth…
I’m fine. It’s…
How honest could I possibly be with him?
Can you promise not to make me ride in the trunk if I tell you?
He didn’t respond for a while and I was pretty sure he had to know what the issue was, but eventually he thought,I promise.
I won’t try to take her. I swear to every god out there that I don’t want to ruin what the two of you have. I want us to be friends again but I want Loganwaymore than I should and I know I can’t have both.
Caden didn’t move his hand from my shoulder, but he didn’t speak either. Logan murmured something unintelligible between us. Caden’s thumb brushed my fur and I perked up.
I know you want her. You’re not exactly subtle.
I wilted.Sorry.
I don’t blame you. I want us to be friends again, too.His thought was so quiet I almost didn’t register it.I love her enough that if she wanted you instead, I would let her go. I’d hate every fucking second of it, but I can’t do to her what I did to Rachel.
There’s no fucking way Logan wants me more than she loves you.
Caden sighed and I heard him press a kiss to Logan’s skin.I don’t know what I’d do without her.
Gods willing, you’ll never have to figure that out.
I rolled over so I could see him and Logan protested in her sleep. Scooting closer, I draped one paw over her and she buried her face in my chest. Luckily she was asleep so she wouldn’t notice the massiveka-thumpmy heart just gave.
Do you ever miss living around other shifters?I asked.