Page 36 of Bound to Two Bears

Carson dropped his backpack to the floor and slowly lowered into the nearest chair. His body ached, particularly in one certain spot, but all over. But he’d asked for that… he’d asked it to burn. Only now it did and he wasn’t with them for them to make it all feel better.

“Car? You’re scaring me again. What’s going on?”

“The mountainwasn’twhat I expected.”

Deidre placed the knife on an end table and sat down on the coffee table in front of his chair. She spied him for a moment. “You look exhausted.”

“Iam.” It had only been a few days but felt like a lifetime. A brand-new life. He scanned the apartment he’d lived in for years… and it felt… wrong. He didn’t belong there.

Deidre grinned wryly. “I missed you.”

Carson harrumphed. “No you didn’t.”

“I did. I really did. As soon as you were out the door, I second-guessed myself. You really are the greatest guy I know. They don’t make them like you anymore.”

Deidre slipped from the table and onto his lap.

Carson stiffened, not expecting her sudden move. “What’re you doing, Deidre?”

Deidre grasped his face with both her hands and lowered her lips to his.

Her touch felt… wrong, too. Carson stiffened, allowing her to kiss him… hoping it would feel more familiar and wipe away all those taboo touches he’d experienced at Royce and Jared’shands. Only it made him realize how much he craved them and more of those caresses.

He pulled back and stared up at her, incredulous. “You said you were done. Thatwewere done.”

“I was wrong,” she whispered. “I love you, Carson.”

Carson closed his eyes, her words clawing at him. He didn’t feel anything for her. Not in the way she wanted, anyway.

Had he ever?

Had she said all those things before he’d left for the mountain, he might’ve been thrilled. He would’ve allowed her back in, just because it was easy.

A life with Royce and Jared wouldn’t be.

Yet that was where he wanted to be.

Carson looked around the apartment, a home that was no longer a home. Maybe in a few days or a few weeks, he’d forget about the pair waiting for him on the mountain and home would feel like home again. “I’m tired, Deidre. I need a shower and to sleep for two or three days.”

“What happened there?”

Carson shook his head. “You’d never believe me.”

She rose and offered him a hand. He took it, knowing there would be nothing but sleep for them. He clung to the memory of what they had, desperate to return to being the same man he’d been just days before. After turning off the light in the living room, he followed her into their bedroom, one they’d shared for years.

It all felt wrong.

After slipping through the bedroom, he entered the tiny bathroom. He took off his clothes and started the shower. Once inside, he washed off the mud and the remnants of the two men who’d been inside him. When he was done and dried off, he walked out into the bedroom, the half-light coming from the hallway’s nightlight. Carson crawled between his sheets, clad only in a fresh pair of briefs. Deidre moved closer beside him and cuddled next to him.

“I missed this so much,” she whispered, pressing a kiss against his neck.

He didn’t respond, just squeezed her arm for a moment. Carson stared up as the lights from passing cars arced into his room and made shadows along the ceilings and walls. Deidre’s breathing grew deeper as she drifted into sleep.

The gnawing ache kept him awake. Worse than ever, it ate at him, demanding he satisfy the longing. As the hours passed, he couldn’t find sleep. His mind kept thinking of the men he left behind. Of the chance he passed on because he couldn’t accept what his heart and soul already did. He, Royce, and Jared were three pieces of a puzzle, and without them, he wasn’t complete.

Never would be.

Carson awoke the following morning, the feel of a hand sliding up and down his thickening cock.

---