Page 35 of Joy Guardian

Her eyes were closed. Her dry, chapped lips were parted slightly. I lowered my head to her face, trying to catch any sound of life.

A faint breeze touched my skin, but I couldn’t tell whether it was her breath or the draft in the cavern. But there was a way to know for sure. I didn’t hesitate even for a moment this time. Gently curling my tendrils around her body, I found herleilathasand connected to her emotions.

Pain assaulted my system, stabbing me from all directions.

She was hurt. But if she felt pain, it meant she was still alive.

“Come here, my sweet.” Afraid to move her, I curled my body around hers, trying to shield her from any more harm.

Her pain rolled through me in hot waves of agony, but I left my tendrils connected to her. As magic coursed through me, healing my body, I hoped it would reach her, too, lending her the healing strength her human body lacked.

Guilt and regret gripped my heart, more tormenting than any physical pain could ever be. Without giving any promises or vows, I’d taken it upon myself to protect Ciana, and I failed. Now, she lay broken on the sharp stones, motionless and racked by pain. And it hurt more than even my failed mission in thesarai.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so, so sorry.” Rising on an elbow, I kissed her cheek the way she used to kiss mine.

The tender memory of those times soothed the pain a little. But my arm shook, forcing me to lay down on the rocks again. My body demanded I rest in order for it to heal.

I buried my face in Ciana’s braids and closed my eyes. I didn’t know any healing spells. The magic of Joy Guardians was mostly meant to protect one thing and destroy all others, not to heal or nurture someone. Neither did I pray to the gods the way people outside of our temple usually did, asking for strength and health.

My strength, endurance, and comfort had always come from the Source of Joy. Now that I wasn’t near it, I had to find them all within me somehow.

I tried to bring up the memories of the many times when I meditated in the enclave, warmed by the glow of the Joy near me. But my thoughts refused to leave the woman cradled in my arms. And the memories that rose in my mind were those of us sitting together on the bench in thesarai.

I recalled guessing and learning the meaning of her many smiles. I’d tried to mimic them all, too, slowly practicing the new facial expressions and trying to match them to the emotions I knew. I remembered how her hand felt in mine and how gentlyher warm lips always touched my cheek when she said goodbye to me after dinner.

I remembered how the glow of the night moths reflected with golden flecks in her dark eyes, making them look like stars to me. And I remembered how comforting her compassion felt when she hugged me, letting me cry on her shoulder.

“Please, please, get better, Ciana,” I whispered my heart’s deepest desire in her ear. “You have made this world a better place. And I don’t want to remember what it was like to be here without you.”

Nine

CIANA

There was so much pain.

It hurt to breathe, to think, to live…

But there was also something that held the pain at bay. It came in waves of lightness that would flutter over me like a gossamer scarf in a breeze. And with every passing wave, I felt a little stronger, just a little bit better, a little more alive.

The ever-changing swells of pain and healing were exhausting. The only way to shut off all sensations was to sleep. So I did. I let my mind slip into oblivion. And when the pain tried to yank my awareness back to it, I let the healing waves rock me back to sleep, again and again.

How long had I floated like this between pain and relief?

I didn’t know. And didn’t care.

But when something wetted my lips, I opened my mouth and greedily sucked it in, desperate for water.

“Drink…” I mumbled.

The word came out in a whisper. My dry, swollen tongue could hardly move inside my mouth.

“Here, my darling,” came a deep, familiar voice.

The hard ring of a water bag pressed to my lips, then lukewarm water trickled into my mouth as someone held my head.

“Kurai?” I said his name before I even opened my eyes.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

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