Page 90 of Joy Guardian

Worry about Elaine tightened around my heart.

Kurai’s chest expanded with a deep sigh. “In this world, humans have a huge value as Joy Vessels. And some criminals quickly discovered that. My stepfather was one of them.”

“Your stepfather?”

Kurai hadn’t talked much about his family. From our conversations in thesarai, I’d gathered he had a rough childhood that he didn’t like talking about. I rose on my elbow to see his face.

The faint shimmer of his skin outlined his features in the complete darkness of the tent. His gemstone-colored eyes looked like stars against his dark-as-night face.

“Watrat was my stepfather, Ciana,” he said.

“Watrat? The one who kept us in cages?”

“Yes, him.”

I winced, remembering the vilest of the traders. “How did he fall so low?”

“The despicable man that he was, he didn’t see stealing and selling humans as a disgrace but as an opportunity. Keeping our farm was hard work with little payoff. Once he killed my mother, he clearly didn’t want to do all that work on his own.”

“He killed your mother?” I gasped.

“He always was a volatile man, unable to balance his moods, and often took his anger out on the people around him. I thought I was the only one he beat. He never hit Mother in my presence. But he likely did plenty of that in private. The day she dropped me off at the temple, she had a cut on her lip. Almost in the same place as you did.”

He gently touched the side of my bottom lip where Dylan’s blow left a slim scar, like a mark of a pencil.

“I was so scared and bitter when Mother left me at the temple, so angry in the years that followed, that I blamed her for abandoning me. I now know that she had little choice, if any. Getting me out of that house and away from Watrat was the best thing she did for me. And at the end, she lost her own life to him.”

“Did he get away with murder?”

“Until now, he did.” He took a long breath as if getting rid of a weight heavily pressing on his chest for so many years. “I never thought that killing someone could bring the relief I’m feeling. I was trained to kill, and I’ve done it before. But I would always rather avoid it if there was any other way to deal with the situation. In Watrat’s case, however, I’d do it again without hesitation. I’d kill the bastard over and over. Knowing that he’s finally gone makes me feel lighter at heart. I hope that Mother can breathe with relief in the afterlife too.”

His eyes glistened with emotion. I reached to hug him but stopped myself, unsure how to comfort him without the risk of misleading him. I was afraid I’d given him plenty of mixed signals already, keeping him at arm’s length one moment, then kissing him with abandon the other. After Kurai had said those three words to me, every moment of affection between us felt stolen because it felt like I was using him.

“I’m sorry,” I dropped my hand without touching him.

Compassion softened his expression, inflating my guilt even more.

“I wish I could explain this…” I started, struggling to find the right words.

“You don’t have to explain anything, Ciana. Without the tendrils, I may not know exactly how you feel, but I believe I’ve learned enough about you to understand how hard it is for you to trust a man again. I understand your fear, and I want you to know that I demand nothing from you. All I want is for you to be happy, whatever it takes.” He moved a handful of my braids back over my shoulder. “Meanwhile, I’ll be right here, whenever you need me.”

His words weren’t meant to solve anything. He didn’t give me advice or provide me with a solution. But my chest grew lighter, and my next breath came easier. The awkward tension finally let go.

“Thank you,” I exhaled, collapsing back onto the pallet, then snuggling into his chest again. “Thank you for everything, Kurai.”

My heart overflowed with gratitude for this man as he kissed my forehead and wrapped his arm around me.

“I just want you to remember one thing, Ciana,” he said firmly. “I am nothimand never will be.”

In a moment like this, Dylan would’ve made me feel small, insignificant, and ungrateful. In Kurai’s arms, I always felt cherished and accepted, no matter what.

Kurai was right, he was not him.

Twenty-Two

CIANA

The second night of our travels was coming to an end, and there still was no sign of a city among the endless dunes and hills.

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