Page 83 of The Bordeaux Book Club

‘Right, so it’s my fault?’

‘That’s not what I meant. We want you back home so you’re safe. We’re not going to… What decisions about your life are you talking about?’ She racked her brain, trying to think of anything they’d suggested or objected to in the last few months. She came up blank.

Scarlett shook her head slowly, infuriatingly.

‘Scarlett, just get in the car… please,’ said Nathan, gesturing at it as if this might help her to do the right thing. ‘We can talk about it – all of it, at home.’

‘Whichhomewould that be?’ she said, looking pointedly at Nathan.

Leah looked up, expecting Nathan to register confusion, only to see her husband’s head drop, his eyes suddenly on the ground.

‘Yeah, go on, Dad. Tell Mum how you’ve been looking at houses. Finding somewhere new to live in town.’

‘Nathan?’ said Leah.

‘Mum, tell him that you know about his affair. How you realised that he was a liar.’

‘But Scarlett…’ Leah began.

‘I heard you in the kitchen with your stupid friend, didn’t I?’ she said. ‘And I saw Dad in town with that woman.’

‘Yes, but that was…’

Scarlett turned, not yet done. ‘And I heard you on the phone, Dad, in your office. You’re always complaining that I’m too noisy in my room with my music or whatever. Well maybe you ought to think about keeping your voice down if you don’t want people to know everything…’

‘Scarlett,’ said Leah, levelly, feeling the world swim just a little in her vision. ‘What are you trying to say?’

‘He,’ she said, pointing a trembling finger at Nathan, ‘is leaving us. And you’re so blind, you’ve hardly noticed!’

‘Scarlett!’ Nathan said. ‘It’s not…’

‘Didn’t you think, didn’t either of you think about me in all this?’ she said. ‘What am I meant to be doing. Staying with Mum? Trying to manage a garden that both of you hate? Oh, yeah,’ she turned to Nathan, ‘Mum hates having to do all the digging, I heard her say so. And she hates your stupid carrots. She doesn’t want to do the stupid copywriting job. And… and… she wants to wring Gollum’s neck!’ The last words came out loudly and a passer-by looked over with a small frown.

Scarlett, unperturbed, turned to Leah.

‘And Mum, Dad hates it too. He feels like a failure. He wants to have a fresh start, isn’t that what you said, Dad? Find somewhere new to start again?’

Nathan was still looking at the floor. ‘I think we should go home,’ he said, but looking up to see the two women in his life staring at him, he let his words fade to nothing.

‘Nathan,’ Leah said, her voice trembling, ‘is this true?’

‘Oh, it’s true,’ Scarlett said. ‘But you can’t decide, can you, Dad? “Town house or something with a little more space”,’ she spat out the words, clearly repeated verbatim from a conversation she’d heard. ‘Why couldn’t you just talk to Mum about it? And Mum, why couldn’t you talk to Dad?’ She stopped and took an enormous, shuddering breath. ‘And why can’t either of you talk tome?’ she said, her voice breaking. ‘Because I’m having a hard enough time deciding where I belong as it is, let alone having to choose between my parents. That’s if either of you want me at all!’

This time, when Leah reached for her daughter, the prickliness was gone. Her daughter sank into her softly and let herself be held. ‘What’s going to happen to us, Mum?’ she said. ‘What are we going to do?’

37

‘Alfie?’

The voice was so quiet, he wasn’t quite sure whether he’d dreamt or heard it.

‘Alfie?’

He put his phone down and got up, his legs aching slightly from being curled under him in bed and walked to her room. ‘Mum?’ he said. ‘Everything alright?’

The room was filled with dull light, the shutters still open as she’d requested. It was a hot night and the breeze buffeted slightly between the half-open windowpanes, giving a little relief. Her eyes were closed.

‘Alfie?’

---