Page 60 of The Riviera House Swap

You’re happily married, remember?

Bess

An insignificant detail *winking emoji* Happy for you though. When is the date?

Nina

Tomorrow.

Bess

Eek! Squeaky bum time!

Sal

Or hopefully not.

Bess

Quite.

Nina

Haha

Sal

Send us a pic?

Bess

Yes. We need to see Pierre! Explain. He’ll understand!

Nina

I’ll see what I can do.

Nina was smiling as she came off the chat. It was lovely to have made new friends here, but these two women who always had her back had almost evolved beyond mere friendship. They were her family. Especially now Rory was gone. She lay back on the sofa and sipped her coffee, feeling at one with the world and ready to step into a beautiful future.

By six o’clock the following evening, she had completely lost her Zen. She was standing in a room covered with clothes, still wearing her underwear and almost completely out of options. Some outfits had looked OK but seemed too dressy, others too dressed down. Some trying too hard, others not trying hard enough. She’d managed to create about eight different combinations from the holiday clothes she’d brought and unlessshe decided to go on the date dressed in her joggers – the only item she hadn’t tried on – she was all out of options.

‘Don’t panic,’ she told herself. Then ignored her own advice. There was just an hour to go until she would need to leave and she could hardly strut up to Pierre in her M&S nude basic underwear ensemble, could she? She was all for complete honesty within a relationship but some things are better kept under wraps.

There was nothing else for it. She grabbed her dressing gown from the back of the door and scuttled along the corridor to Sabine’s room. Earlier, when Sabine had offered once again to help her find the ideal outfit, she’d thanked her but turned her down. Sabine was in the process of packing and she hadn’t wanted to interrupt really – she knew her friend wanted to get on her way in a few days. Plus, she’d been convinced that within the few favourites that she’d packed, she’d find the ideal outfit. Her luggage allowance had been modest, so she’d made sure to only include things she felt great in.

Correction: hadoncefelt great in. Now, everything she looked at looked old, tired, ill-fitting or ill-advised. She knew, deep down, it was probably her nerves talking. But every time she’d turned to the mirror after wriggling into something new, she’d felt horrified. Was this drab-looking woman really her? What had Pierre been thinking when he’d asked her out? Should she simply ring him and cancel?

Mirrors had never been her friend. They always seemed to reflect how she felt inside more than how she actually looked. And these feelings defied logic. She knew from experience that often in the morning, she’d feel she looked overweight or baggy-eyed, but that later, she’d look at herself and realise she was fine. Or that sometimes, she’d get dressed up for a night out and feel fabulous, only to catch a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirrors in a bar and feel less confident.

Objectively, her appearance couldn’t change that much over the course of a few hours, she’d often reasoned with herself. She knew it was an emotional reaction more than anything else.

But she also couldn’t shake the belief that if she could just find the right product, the right outfit, the right lighting, she would feel better. Which had led to a lot of product buying over the years, until she’d discovered that her bank balance was the only thing seemingly altered.

Now, after standing in the rubble of her wardrobe for ten minutes in near despair, she ought probably to slip into a dress she knew usually looked good, and simply put her self-loathing down to nerves. But she couldn’t resist getting a second opinion at least; this date was too important to mess up.

‘Sabine?’ she said, knocking on the door and opening it gently.

Sabine’s bed was covered with clothing, which she was folding and placing into an optimistically small bag. She looked up and smiled, but Nina could see that her friend’s eyes were a little wet.

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