Page 43 of Dauntless

And Eddie, of course, would never have left Henry Jessup’s diary tucked inside John Coldwell’s jacket where I’d found it.

I slipped my hand inside my pocket as I went back down the curving steps.The diary, no longer wrapped in plastic, felt damp and cold to my touch, the pages brittle.

Hiccup was waiting for me outside the lighthouse.

I walked to my cottage, turning once to stare up at the flags fluttering and snapping in the wind.

Then I went inside.Closed and locked my door behind me.

I took the diary from my pocket to inspect it.As far as I could tell, all the pages were still there.I opened it carefully somewhere in the middle and squinted down at the faded, spidery handwriting.It took my eyes a while to make sense of the letters, and of the words they formed.

…that on the 2nd day of February Lt.Jos.Nesmith grew belligerent with Capt Hawthorne for the captain refused to allow the men to force their attentions upon the women passengers of the Antigone.The civilian passengers were much alarmed.The next day being the 3rd, Jos.Nesmith & a company of his men seized muskets and demanded Capt Hawthorne resign his post.

I closed the diary again.

All of this.

All of this for such a little book.

I opened up the kitchen pantry and pulled a box of Cornflakes out.I removed the inside packet, slipped the diary into the box, and then replaced the cereal.Then I shoved the Cornflakes box to the very back of the pantry.

It was no medical chest, but that had hardly been secure either, had it?And what was a padlock to someone who had killed a man?

I crossed to the radio and turned the volume up.“Dauntless Island to Marine Area Command.”

“Dauntless Island, this is the Marine Area Command.Have you found your missing persons?”

I rubbed my forehead.“Negative, Marine Area Command.I need to report a homicide.”

Chapter 12

EDDIE

It was cold as balls.

After eating some protein bars at dusk and pretending that I was enjoying them, I dug through my backpack for some extra layers and pulled them all on.This would befine.I’d go to sleep, and when I woke up it would be daylight, and I’d be able to laze around in the sun like a cat until I warmed up again.

Except that the second the sun sank below the horizon, the temperature dropped at least ten degrees and I was fuckingfreezing.I huddled in the dip in the ground, wondering how I’d ever thought it would be sheltered from the wind, because it turned out the wind was actually slicing through me like razors.I missed my tent and my sleeping bag.More than that, I missed Joe’s comfortable bed and doona, but there was no point dwelling on that.I lay in my shallow ditch and shivered, my hands wedged in my armpits, my knees drawn up close to my body.

It was brighter than I’d thought it would be.The moon was large and brilliant.It seemed bigger than usual, outshining all the stars.I tugged my beanie down over my ears, shoved my hands back under my arms, and wished I was warm.

I was not built for an outdoor life.I was built for a life by a fireplace, with a book, and a modest selection of chocolate biscuits within easy reach.I was cold and miserable and I wanted to cry, so I did.

It didn’t help.

I tried squinting up at the stars for a while, wondering if I could make them spin like a timelapse video with only the power of my mind, so that it would suddenly be morning.Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t, and it wasn’t.

I thought of Henry Jessup, and how he’d sailed alone from Dauntless Island to Sumatra.I bet he’d had some cold nights too.I bet he’d had longer nights than the one I was facing right now, but he’d kept going, even when all the odds were stacked against him.

I got to my feet and paced for a moment, which warmed me up a bit.Then I ate another protein bar, which was just as horrible as the two I’d had for dinner, but I felt better afterwards.

Had Henry Jessup quit?No!

Had Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay quit?No!

Had Captain Oates of Scott’s Antarctic expedition quit?Well,yes, but in a very heroic way.

At least, that’s what everyone assumed.But really, we only had the entry in Scott’s diary, didn’t we?The one where Oates, who was suffering from frostbite and knowing he was a burden on the rest of the expedition, said, “I am just going outside and may be some time” before walking off to his death in the raging blizzard.What if that wasn’t how it happened?What if Scott had lied?Like, I wasn’t saying that Scott had killed and eaten Captain Oates—I would never say that, mostly because I had no idea how litigious Scott’s descendants were—but I wasn’t saying hehadn’t.There were so many moments in history where we only had one side of the story.Even more where we just didn’t know the story at all, except what bones could tell us, and everything else was guesswork.

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