Page 25 of The Road Less Traveled By

“Bree, listen—”

“Oh! I also had this idea where you pick the books I’ll read for that month. It’s a trend going around, and Ireallywant to do it. I feel like you have pretty good taste, too.” Tommy and I only started dating when my channel was first gaining traction, but now, I have over a million subscribers. It’sinsane, but I can’t imagine not making it. I love being able to share my love for books, and most people have been so sweet.

Life feels like a dream lately, one I hope I never have to wake up from. I know I spend a lot of my time in different book realities, but one I never want to stray from is the one I live in. If this life is a dream, I hope I never wake up.

“That sounds fun, but—”

Before he can speak, I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. When I turn around, a girl my age is looking at me. “Hi, are you Books with Bree on YouTube?”

“Hi! Yes, that’s me. It’s so nice to meet you!”

“I knew it was you! I wasn't going to interrupt you, but I knew if I didn't at least say hi, I would regret it! I absolutely love your videos. You give some of the best recommendations.”

“Thank you so much. That’s so kind of you.”

“Can I get a picture?” she asks me, and I nod. I take a selfie with her, and then she leaves.

That’s one thing I’ll never get used to—people recognizing me. It’s always so weird, but I love meeting people who watch my videos. I wouldn't have my platform without them, and they’re always so sweet.

“I’m sorry, Tommy. Where were—”

“I can't do this anymore, Bree.”

My stomach drops. “Do what?”

“Us. It’s too hard. I’m breaking up with you.”

I feel tears start to fill my eyes, but I try my best to keep them at bay. I didn't see this coming. Everything has been perfect, and I thought we were happy, but maybe that was only me. Did I do something wrong? “Why? I thought everything was going well between us?”

“You're too recognizable. All you care about is your channel and books, and it doesn't feel like you care about me anymore. All you do is work, and you’re never around. This is the first time in days where you’re not preoccupied, and you still chose to talk to a fan over me.”

“Tommy, it was barely a five minute conversation! Do you want me to ignore my fans? Because I won't do that. They’re the reason I have my platform; I can't just ignore them when they want to talk to me for a second!”

He runs a hand through his hair before he scoffs at me. “It’s just too much—the fame, your work. You don't seem to be in the relationship like I am. I think you need to do some serious evaluating if you get into a relationship after this. Don't fall in love with someone, because there’s no way any ordinary person could deal with your job if it gets worse than this. Don't put someone through that, Bree. It’s bad enough that I had to deal with it for a few months, but if you get bigger, I don't even want to think about that.”

Don't put someone through that.Has he always been this much of an asshole, or am I only noticing that now? “What I do moving forward is none of your business, Tommy. I’m sorry I became too hard for you to deal with, but I thought being in a relationship meant that you stood by your partner no matter what, even if things got tough. So maybeyoushould think about that for your future.”

“Maybe you should get a life instead of burying your head in those unrealistic books.” He leaves me sitting at the table, tears brimming as I pick up my phone and dial my sister.

“Can you come pick me up?”

“I’m on myway. Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’ll explain, just get here, please,” I say as I wipe a stray tear from my eyes.

That day changed alot for me. Gone was the girl who believed in falling in love, in fairytales, in happy endings with someone you love despite it all. Gone was the girl who believed my favorite fictional boyfriends were setting the standard for real life, and in her place is a girl who just wants someone to choose her.

I want to be someone's choice. I want them to choose to be with me.

I’ve since grown like he knew I would, my heart has been kept under lock and key. Because deep down, I’m sure he’s right—nobody would want to deal with all this. Somedays, I don't even want to. I’m exhausted in every way possible, and no person could ever love me how I am now. Nobody wants to love someone with a stalker on the loose threatening her every move. Nobody wants to love someone who can’t even hear a loud noise without breaking down into tears, and someone who can't sleep without lights and sounds on.

I’m too broken to be loved. If Tommy thought I wasn't worth it, then what am I now?

Worthless. That’s what I am. I’m destined for fake relationships and lackluster connections for the rest of my life. I’m stupid to even think that anyone could choose me after they get to know everything about me.

My road to love looks bleak. It’s a path that nobody else but me is on, and I’m destined to find nothing at the end of it.

“I wish love like this existed in real life,” Teags sighs as she flips the page.

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