Page 122 of Reconciling With the Rival

I go to close my office door, but Leo’s foot stops it.

“Get the fuck out,” I say, not wanting to listen to anything he has to say to me.

I trusted him to keep this a secret, and now this stupid pact we made is coming back to bite us in the ass. Well, not us. Me. It’s always the woman that gets blamed for shit like this, and I’m so fucking exhausted. Of course Brody is taking Leo’s side. Of course I’m getting blamed.

The thing that hurts the most is I thought I could trust Leo, and look where that got me. I feel like I’m the girl back in college struggling through her internship where nobody even spared a glance in her direction. I feel like that same small girl who wanted to have the same chances Leo had.

“Ella, let me explain.”

“No,” I say as I slam my laptop closed. “Get the fuck out, Zimmerman.”

“Ella—”

I shut my door and punch his chest. “You said nobody would find out! You came tomeand asked to hook up because you needed a distraction, and I was fine with it! We had rules, Leo, and you were the one who broke them! I could lose my job if Brody blabs his fucking mouth!”

He runs a hand through his hair, his arms straining against his shirt. “I didn't mean for it to slip out, but I was drunk, and—”

I start to laugh. “That’s no excuse.” I jam my finger into his chest. “I thought I could trust you. I thought we were—” My voice breaks on the last word before I cut myself off, and I have to will myself not to cry because of how mad I am.

I’m glad I’m a yeller when I cry. I’m glad I still have a voice through my tears because I’ve always cried alone in my room where nobody could see it, but right now, all I want to do is yell and scream.

Knowing I’m in my office, I can’t. But I sure can do it with Leo since we’re in the corner of the floor.

“You can trust me! I can convince Brody to keep his mouth shut and—”

I put my hand over his mouth. “I’m sure he’ll fail to mention your involvement, but my name will be the first thing that falls from his fucking lips.”

“I can fix it, Ella.” Leo says when I pace around my office.

“No, you can’t. You’re the one who ruined it in the first place!”

I thought I could trust him. I thought he had changed, and for a split second, I thought we could turn this pact into something long-lasting and serious. All of that went out the window as soon as Brody said Leo’s name in the office minutes ago.

I thought I was falling into him more and more every time I saw the man underneath who I thought he was. I thought all those late night talks, all the times he comforted me meant he changed—that he wasn't who I thought he was.

I could have loved Leo.

It turns out, I was wrong, and that guy was still underneath all the walls I built around him. Leo Zimmerman is still the same annoying, untrustworthy, pain in my ass he always has been. I should have known a few rounds of sex and some vulnerable chats wouldn't change who he really is.

“Ella,” my name rolls off his lips like some sort of prayer. “Please let me fix this. Don’t shut me out.”

“I should have seen this coming. God, I’m such a fucking idiot.” I slump down in my chair and start packing up my things.

“Where are you going?” he asks, suddenly appearing in front of my chair. He’s kneeling on my fucking floor, and I want to kick him in the shins.

“Home. I can’t bear to look at your fucking face through my window all day. I can work from there.”

“Ella—”

“Stop, Leo! Stop pretending like you give a fuck about me! The game is over. Our pact is done, so you can go back to being the normal asshole I know you are.”

His face is stone cold. “Ella, I wasn't pretending.”

“Stop lying to me and get out.”

His hand grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. “You have every right to be pissed at me, but don’t shut me out when I come to talk to you about this in a few days. Because we will talk, Ella, and we’re going to lay all of this shit out on the table.”

“Great, I’ll see you around. I have some free time in about fifty years, is that okay?”

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