Page 133 of Reconciling With the Rival

“I can’t, Liss. I—”

“Babe, please. I could use a familiar face who isn't one of my family members. I need you to keep me grounded if something goes wrong.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “What about the apartment?”

“Can one of the girls water my plants?”

“I can ask them, but—”

“You should come, Ella,” Leo says, catching me even more off guard. “We’re both going to need someone like you around.”

“Guys, this is your family. I don't want to intrude.”

Alissa grabs my hands. “You won’t be.” She wraps her arms around me. “I need you, Ells.”

“Okay. If you need me, I’m there.” I have to tell work and my family—both of them. I’m sure the girls are going to have a million questions, but I’ll answer them at some point. “Liss, you’re all packed, but double check and make sure I didn't miss anything. Give me five minutes, and I’ll be ready.”

“I’m buying tickets,” Leo says, his sister's computer in his hands. “There are a few seats left on the flight leaving at ten tonight.”

“Try to grab three in the same row,” Alissa says.

“I am.”

Ten minutes later, the three of us are in an Uber on the way to the airport, the tension in the car thick as they wait for an update. Nothing comes by the time we get through security and are sitting at our gate. By the time we’re on the plane, we still have no idea what we’re walking into when we get off this flight.

Leo sits between his sister and me, his hand shaking so hard, it makes me grab it, trying to ease some of his stress if I can. To my surprise, he doesn't let go.

For the rest of the flight, none of us say a single word, and Leo’s hand stays firmly in mine.

40

The Monkey Bars

As I sit inthe hospital room and watch my dad breathe via a machine, I struggle not to fall apart where I sit.

My sister is next to me, her hand on my shoulder as she listens to the doctor tell us what happened. We landed about an hour ago, the flight ten long hours of all the unknowns shooting through my head. It’s about what I expected, but the gut punch at seeing the man I looked up to all my life lying in a bed, not being able to breathe on his own, is something I’ll never get out of my head.

I can’t unsee it. I can’t undo what happened, and I can’t help.

I can’t do anything but wait and see, and I’m not good at that. I’m good at helping, following orders, making a plan. I’m great at figuring out how to fix things.

I can’t fix this, and it’s driving me fucking crazy.

The doctor leaves, but the tension in the room remains. My mum sits across from me, holding my father’s hand.

God, this sucks.

And sitting in the chair farthest from all of us is the girl who won’t leave my fucking mind.

The girl who held my hand and soothed my worries on the flight.

The girl who dropped everything to be here for my sister and me.

If my mind wasn't such a mess, I’d start to think our relationship—whatever it is—is more than sex.

But I can’t think about that right now, not with my family like this, and I know she understands that. She left me at the restaurant after I saw the look on her face when she asked me what I wanted. The truth remains: I don’t know. I’ve never been sure about anything, and I’ve never been a relationship guy.

With Ella, I could be. With Ella, I would try my hardest.

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