Page 49 of Reconciling With the Rival

He only starts to laugh. “Just get back to work before I piss you off again, Williams.”

“It’s only a matter of time, Zimmerman,” I say as I leave the kitchen and head to Rae’s office. “It’s only a matter of time.”

17

A Slip Up?

I’m in the carwith my sister—who’s being uncharacteristically quiet—and I have to stifle the side of myself that wants to ask her what’s wrong. After our conversation yesterday, it’s clear something is bugging her, but I’m not sure what.

She’s getting older, so maybe she thinks I’m too overbearing and I need to pull back.

Or maybe I’m not doing enough for her and our dad.

It could be any number of things, but until she talks to me about it, I don’t want to ask. If I ask and the problem is with me, then I’m only proving her point.

After the past few days I’ve had, I need something good. After Leo stood up for me at work yesterday, he went back to being an ass. I knew it wasn't going to last, but I didn't think I’d get home and see half of the hockey team from Grand Mountain inmy living room. It would have been nice if Grant was over, but he wasn't. It was only Liam, Leo, and a few other people.

But it would’ve been nice to know about it before I walked in looking disheveled after staying late to finish something. I was really looking forward to watching reality television with Alissa tonight, but she’s going out with some guy she has been seeing and is sleeping over at his place.

Which means she’s getting fucked. I’m happy for her, really, I am, but not only am I not getting fucked, but I have to deal with Leo for the entire night without Liss being there to buffer.

It’s the first time Leo and I have been completely alone at the apartment, and it could go one of two ways. We could either be civil and not speak to each other all night, or we’re going to fight.

“Mom called me the other day,” my sister says, effectively breaking my mind off all thoughts of Leo.

“Our mother called you? On the phone?” Shock doesn't even begin to cover all of what I’m feeling. “What did she say?”

“She wanted to talk and catch up.”

I try to stop the laugh that comes out, but I can’t. “She wants to catch up after walking out on us? You’re telling menowshe wants to talk? What did you say to her?”

Lizzie looks away, and I can’t tell what she’s thinking. She was so young when our mom left. I didn't even think she remembered much about her.

But I remember. I remember what it was like watching her walk out the door and never seeing her again. I remember what it felt like when I realized I had to be the one to step up, to keep the family afloat because it was too hard for my mother to stay.

It was really fucking easy for her to leave, and now that we’re older, she suddenly wants to be part of our lives? No. Not only is it not fucking fair, but if she left once, she would absolutely do it again.

“We talked for a bit, and it was nice, Ells. She asked about me and what has been going on, and she even asked me about you—”

I laugh again. “Lizzie, you realize she walked out on us over a decade ago, right? She can’t waltz back in here and act like she cares when she clearly didn't care enough to stay when we were younger.”

“Ella, people can change. She sounded genuinely interested in what—”

I park the car in my dad’s driveway before I turn to my sister. “This is what happens, Lizzie. She’ll get your hopes up, and when you think everything is okay again, she’ll leave.”

“But sis—”

I cut her off again, and I know I shouldn't, but she needs to understand our mother is nothing but a runner. She bolts when she realizes she needs to be responsible. It’s what she has always done, and I’ll be damned if she tries to come crawling back, only to break my sister's heart.

She doesn't get to break mine again, not after I practically raised my sister. She doesn't get to take credit for everything I’ve done to keep us afloat while she left and didn't spare a single fucking glance back.

“Lizzie, she’s not a good person. If you want to keep your heart intact, you’ll stop talking to her.”

“You might be my older sister, but you can’t tell me what to do.”

“Sis, I’m trying to protect you from her.” I grab her hand. “She’ll only leave you with empty promises and a broken heart. Trust me, I know what it feels like to want to believe she’s changed.”But she never will. I don’t add that, because I can tell my sister truly believes our mother is capable of becoming a good person.

She only thinks that because of how I’ve shielded her from our mother her entire life. For good reason, too. I can handle the broken heart from not having a mother figure my entire life, but Lizzie is softer than I am. She wants to believe people can change, that people are capable of doing and being better.

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