“I know, Ames,” I agree. “I want to know everything about how your brain works. It might take me some time to adjust, but I’ll do anything to help make things easier for you and that beautiful brain of yours.”
“Thank you,” she tells me. “Support is the biggest thing I’ve needed lately. It’s been easier to manage with a routine. I drink tea now. I cut out alcohol. I feel more like myself, but some days are still a fight in my head.”
I grab her hands. “Mills, no matter what, I’m here for you. As long as we communicate about things, we’re going to be okay. I trust you to come to me when you feel scared or nervous or anything. You should trust yourself—I'm not worried about you leaving me again.”
“Because you would chase me down?”
I nod. “Always, Amelia. I’m not letting your fears get in the way of us again.”
“And I won’t either.”
“Good,” I say as I pop some fruit into my mouth. “Now, hurry up and eat so you can call Paige and debrief with her.”
The rest of our morning is filled with laughs, gossip, and Amelia’s presence all around me in my apartment. It’s the best morning I’ve had in a long time, and there are a thousand more like this to come.
Myphoneringsafew times, and I swear, I could bite my fingernails off as I await to tell them all about what happened last night.
Paige answers first, and eventually, Hads and Ella filter into the call.
“Good morning!” Paige smiles, and I hear Oliver groan in the background.
“God, I really haven't missed this,” he says as he gets out of bed.
“Just go have your coffee, you big grump,” Hads jokes with her brother.
“Amelia, care to explain where the hell you are?” Ella asks me. “That’s not your apartment.”
“What?” Grant shrieks as he comes into frame. “Oh my fucking God.”
“Are you…” Paige trails off before she too screams. “Holy shit!”
“Am I missing something?” Leo asks as he hears us all freak out.
“I’m turning the volume down because I know Paige and Grant are about to scream or something,” I say as I laugh. “And yes, I’m at Henry’s apartment.”
“Did you spend the night?” Ella asks, probably noticing this isn't my shirt. I sent all the girls a picture of my outfit for my surprise date night with Henry, and they agreed the sweater dress was better than the floral one I had originally.
“Ahh!” Paige squeaks.
“Love, please breathe. I don’t want you passing out from excitement again,” Oliver tells her as he returns. “Do you want some water?”
“Stop asking dumb questions, Oliver!” Grant says, his chin on Hads’ shoulder. “Amelia, tell us everything.”
While Henry is in the shower, I spill every single thing that happened last night—minus some explicit details. I do not want any of the boys to hear details about my sex life. Well, except Grant, I guess. He’s one of the girls, and I have missed being able to gossip and talk shit with him.
“It was…the best night of my entire life,” I say as I let my smile take over my face. Back in college, I would have tried to hide all these mushy and gushy feelings, but now, all I want to do is tell my friends every single thing.
It feels good being open with them, and since they have already seen us as a couple, it’s almost better. Their excitement has made me even more ecstatic about this fresh start, and I know this is where I’m meant to be.
At this phase in my life, I thought I would have had everything figured out. But it’s so easy, isn't it? It’s easy to look to the future and assume you’ll know where you want to be in a few years. You think you'll get there because not only do you believe in yourself, but it’ssofar ahead. How couldn't you be where you want to by then?
My life looks so different than I imagined it. Getting to where you want to be isn't just from one point to the other. It’s a thousand small steps, a few big ones, maybe some setbacks along the way, and eventually, you might be where you thought you would be. Or maybe your mindset changes, and you end up somewhere you never even thought existed.
I’m on a path with so much uncertainty still ahead, but deciding to come back was the best decision I never thought I would make. It was one I never saw coming, and it led me to a new beginning.
When I got on the plane to London all those years ago, I thought that would be the last time I would have to start all over, but here I am, back in the same place I once was.
Life, I’ve come to understand, doesn't have beginnings and endings, at least not finite ones. Our friends, our family, the people we love, they live on through the stories we tell, through the memories we have of them. Sure, relationships can end and new ones can begin, but nothing is ever truly over. Every experience brings a new opportunity to learn, whether it's a new start or something ending. I don’t want this version of my story to end.