Page 16 of Rewriting the Story

“It’s good to see you guys,” I say, the truth spilling out.

“It’s good to actuallyseeyou.” Ella rolls her eyes at me.

“Agreed,” Hads says. “I really thought you were going to bail at the last minute in typical Amelia fashion.”

I deserved that one. “I know I’ve been gone for a while and I have a lot of explaining to do. Your anger is completely valid, and if we want to start out on this note, that’s fine, but I’m assuming you invited me as a last ditch effort to see if I would come back. Well, I’m here. So, take all the jabs at me you want, but I feel good about being here simply because it means you guys still have room in your hearts for me. I’m grateful for that, really, I am.” I grab my suitcase and wheel it to the trunk, putting it inside before Ella just about shuts my hand in the door.

“The room I have is very little, Amelia. If it were up to me, you wouldn't have been invited at all, but Paige seems to think otherwise.” Her voice is tense and direct. I’ve seen Ella curse people out before, but being on the receiving end of it is the most terrifying thing I’ve experienced in a while. “If you fuck this up again, consider my heart closed for your business.”

I nod, feeling uneasy but trying to remind myself they don’t know this version of me yet. They didn't get to watch me change and grow. They only know the girl that left them and cut off contact for a whole year.

They didn't see me struggle through figuring out a routine that would work for my fucked up brain. They didn't see me grapple with having to take forced time off of work during the worst mental time of my entire life. They didn't see it because they weren't around and they weren't around because of my actions. But now, they will see this version of me who’s trying her fucking hardset to mend what she broke.

They’re going to see a completely different person from the girl who left them, and part of me is worried they’re not going to like this version. I know that worry is all my insecurities projecting onto them, but I can’t help it. I hated myself when I was in London. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me or why I couldn't get better, so of course, they would hate me too. All I need is for them to see how hard I’m trying to fix all of this so I can be in their orbit again, but that isn't going to happen five minutes in.

“Amelia?” Hads says to me. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Sorry, no.” I twist my ring on my finger. “Can you repeat it?”

She sighs heavily. “Typical,” she says before saying nothing and then getting into the car. Ella seems to have already shuffled to the driver's seat, and as I sneak around the back of the car, Paige and I lock eyes on the passenger side.

I can tell by the look in her eyes that she still has hope for me. I can tell she’s the only one out of all of them who seems up for giving me this chance. I don’t even know if I could call it a second one, because I had so many chances before this that I never took. She’s the entire reason I’m here right now, and beside all the sadness I see in her eyes when she looks at me, I can see a tiny sliver of hope.

“I’m still upset with you,” she says to me, her voice quiet as she opens her door. “But I am glad you showed up.”

“I’m glad I came to my senses enough to come back,” I tell her as I get in the car. Ella almost speeds off without me, and I take a deep breath as the tension fills the car. In about two hours, we’ll be in Virginia Beachat the hotel Paige and Oliver booked for the wedding. They’re getting married on the beach, and I couldn’t think of a more perfect location for them to tie the knot.

I try not to think about all the pieces of their lives I missed, but it’s hard not to. We’ve all grown and changed so much, but we weren't around one another to see it. It’s a strange feeling, one I don’t want to sit with for the entire two hours, or I might go insane. So as Ella clears her throat, I take this moment of silence to try and spark some conversation.

“So, Ella, is Leo driving you crazy yet?”

She can only sigh heavily. “He always drives me crazy, but I love him, so I deal with his stupid British ass.”

“Don’t you mean arse?” Paige asks with a giggle. “All I can think about when I hear him say that is the time you set it as his wake-up alarm.”

“Oh my gosh, that wassofunny! And the fact that he would change it and the next day, it would be the same,” Hads says, laughing at the inside joke I am not privy to. Obviously, they aren't doing this on purpose. I'm sure they don’t even realize it, but I do.

“I don’t know why it took him so long to change his password on his phone if he wanted it to stop. He knew it was me the whole time,” Ella says, a proud smile on her face.

“Maybe he thought it was Grant,” I say, trying to insert myself into a conversation I wasn't part of in the first place.

“I doubt it,” Ella scoffs. “Grant kisses the ground Leo walks on. It’s almost comical.”

“Really?” I ask, but then I remember what happened at the Halloween party senior year. “Does he do his British accent around Leo, or is he still too scared?”

“It is constant,” Hads laughs, some pity in her tone. “Paige and Oliver even did an accent around him and Alissa for Halloween.”

“Oliver only did one sentence and then stopped because he felt silly, but Leo and Alissa told me mine is good,” Paige says, flipping around in her seat to face Hads and me in the back.

“I remember when we would watch movies with accents, and after, you would be stuck mimicking it for days,” I say, reminiscing about a time when I was a part of these stories.

Paige’s face falls as soon as I say that. “I still do that.”

“Oh,” is all I say, and the awkward tension comes back.

“You would know that if you stuck around,” Ella says under her breath, but not really. Awkward silence fills the car once again. There are so many things I want to say to them, but I stop myself. I know it’s not the right time. It’s been all of twenty minutes. I can’t just keep spewing stupid shit to distract myself from the giant elephant in the room. Well, car.

“Amelia, do you have some sort of happy playlist in your repertoire that you can turn on for us?” Hads asks me. “I was going to make one for us, but I didn't have time amid all of the Maid of Honor stuff, and I’m sick of the fucking silence in here.”

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