Page 43 of Rewriting the Story

The elevator dings, and before it opens to the lobby, he speaks.

“You can’t spend the entire time pretending I don't exist like you have all these years, Amelia.”

“That’s not what I was doing.”

“Sure it was,” he says. “But we’ll be seeing a lot of one another, so try to stop running for once, because we have a lot to talk about. I’m not leaving here without any answers like I did the last time you ran from me.”

I’m stunned. I’ve never heard him be so forward before. I thought we would dance around it like we used to dance around serious conversations, but I shouldn't have underestimated him. Of course, he wants answers. If I was him, I would too.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” I say with a whisper before he turns to look at me, stopping the elevator doors from closing on him.

“Forgive me if I take that sentence with a grain of salt.”

And then, he walks away from me, leaving me hoping this elevator crashes. I’m sure it would hurt less than my conversations with him will go. I know he wants answers. I know my words mean nothing to him after what I did.

But it still stings he doesn't think I could change in all the years I’ve been away. I guess that’s what happens when you burn every bridge and make a thousand mistakes you wish you could undo.

He’s allowed to be angry at me. He’s allowed to because of how I treated him, and I’m going to have to remind myself of that every time I feel like punching myself in the face for what I did to him and the girls.

Deep breaths, Ames.The girls are on their way to forgiving you.

They are, but Henry isn't going to be so easy. With the girls, I said nothing and ghosted them while I was in England. With Henry, every word I said to him in that parking garage is probably burned into his memory. It’s easy to take back things I never said or did, but what’s difficult is trying to justify my actions. There’s no way I can, but I’m sure as hell going to try and make him understand why I did it and what I’ve been doing since then to work on myself.

Maybe he’ll forgive me at some point, but I won’t be surprised if he never does. Maybe the two of us were meant to have an unfinished story, or one that ends ambiguously, where the reader and the narrator don’t know what will end up happening.

Another hand comes in to stop the elevator from closing in on me, and my thought spiral stops before I fly too far off the handle.

“Is everything okay?” Ella asks as I shake out of my stupor.

“Yup,” I say quickly. “Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

And when Ella and I see the others, the tension rises, and I’m sure we’re in for the most awkward dinner of our lives.

Just don’t ruin this for Paige,I remind myself, but that’s easier said than done.

15

Then — February 2025, One Month Into Therapy

Growing Sideways by Noah Kahan

“So,howhaveyoubeen since our last few meetings? I know reaching where we did last time might have been tough for you.”

What a loaded question. I guess most of them here are—it is therapy, after all.

“Uhm,” I say as I grab my necklace, needing it to ground me as I think about what happened after our last session. “I’m not really sure how to describe what I felt after it.”

“Take your time,” shesays to me. “Last session was a lot at once, and it’s perfectly normal to experience whatever you did after you left my office.”

Normal. Yeah, because normal is getting diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, leaving your therapist's office, then going home and rearranging your entire apartment. I spent hours moving every single piece of furniture I owned, trying to make sure it was all the way I wanted it. I didn't sleep. I didn’t make dinner. I couldn’t slow down. I needed the control back. I needed my mind to stop racing.

On the bright side, I built my new bookshelf that had been sitting in the box for months.

“I rearranged my entire apartment.”

She scribbles some things down in her notebook before she waits for me to say more.

“A few days after, I felt…foggy. I floated through work, and I could barely sleep at night because I couldn't clear the clouds from my thoughts.”

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