Page 71 of Rewriting the Story

“You tried your best, darling, but we were just better than you guys this time,” Leo gloats to Ella, and she glares daggers at him.

“Grant, you are never allowed to assign teams ever again.” She looks over at me. “No offense. We did get out of there before the time was up, so it wasn't a total loss.”

“None taken, Ella. I actually agree with you,” I say as I joke with Grant. “I know what you’re up to.”

He feigns surprise while putting his hand on his chest. “It was a randomized generator, you guys! Blame the generator. I’m simply the messenger.”

Ella and I look at one another, shake our heads, and get into the car. The girls and the guys drove separately, but we’re all headed back to the hotel to recuperate before we have dinner together tonight.

Hads starts back for the hotel, and just when I think this is going to be another awkward car ride, Ella speaks up.

“Paige, here’s your twenty bucks.”

“Thank you! I told you they wouldn’t claw each other’s eyes out.” She smiles at me from the front seat. “Sorry, Ames.”

It all clicks in my head. “Did you guys bet on Henry and I trying to kill each other or something?”

“Ella thought you guys were going to ruin your chances of actually getting out of the room, since you two were on the same team,” she says quietly. “But I knew you would be fine.”

I can’t help the laughter that comes out, and as it really hits me, I can’t stop it. So, I sit in the back seat of the car and laugh my ass off, the rest of the girls eventually joining me. Now, the entire car is filled with laughter as the music plays softly through the speakers.

It feels like the four of us are back in college, making bets on if Oliver will say more than three sentences. Right here in this car, years afterwe graduated from that small classroom where we held book club, I’ve found a small sliver of home I once felt.

“I’ve really missed you guys,” I say as I wipe the tears of laughter from my face. “Truly. I’ve missed feeling like this.”

“Like what?” Hads asks me.

“Whole again. So, thanks for not turning me away when you saw me again. You guys could have been as cruel as I was and left me standing outside with my bags in hand, but you didn't. I’ll never forget that. I know I didn't deserve a second chance, but you guys gave me one anyway.” They gave me a chance, let me back in, and I hope I’m almost on the way to proving I’m not going to leave again.

I’m so many things, but I’m not stupid enough to leave these girls behind again. Never again will I leave this safe, comfortable home I’ve found with these three girls.

It feels right to be known and loved by them. I feel more like myself when I’m with them. I should have never tried to hide from them how I hide from myself most days. But I’m trying to fix that. I’m trying to change to be a person they deserve as a friend, because the old version of myself was not one who deserved these girls, yet they loved me anyway.

Paige reaches for my hand from her seat in the front and looks me in the eyes, fresh tears brimming. “We’re glad you’re back. Book club just isn't the same without you, and you’ve made us a whole group again.”

“There’s no book club without you,” Ella agrees. “And even though I was skeptical at first, you’ve continued to prove me wrong. I’m glad you’re here for this big moment, but I hope that even for all the little ones, you’ll still show up for us.”

My voice is thick with emotion, but I somehow manage to get the words out. “You bet your ass I’ll be here for all of them.”

“Okay, I love you guys, but I am tired of crying so much on this trip, so I’m going to turn this song up, and we’re all going to sing it, okay?” Hads says as she turns the volume dial.

The entire car ride back to the hotel is filled with off-key singing, upbeat songs, and laughter. I know no matter what ends up happening with Henry, I’ll still have these girls.

Because even if I can’t find romantic love at any point in my life, I’ll have these girls to remind me I am capable of being loved. I do deserve it, even though I’ve made some mistakes.

At the end of the day, we’re just four girls who went to college in a small town called Grand Mountain, and no matter where we end up, that will always be true. That was where we started, and I hope our ending will be just as magical as the beginning.

25

“I don’t know who you are anymore. I can’t stand up for you knowing all I know. After all I’ve seen, after all you’ve done, I can’t keep making excuses for you.” —Untitled Henry Hayes Manuscript

Thepastfewdayshave been a whirlwind of emotions, and since we don’t have group plans for today, I’m headed out to a small coffee shop to try and get some words in.

I’ll be honest, all this emotional shit that has dredged up inside me where Amelia is concerned has helped the words flow a bit easier. I knew it would. There’s a reason my first book did so well—I wrote it only a few months after Amelia and I had our falling out.

If I caneven call it that. She and I never fell in the same direction. It was more like she pushed me off a cliff and didn't stick around to see if I hit the rocks or the water.

Mitch and my family have been constantly checking in on me, my sister especially. It feels good to have some people care enough to call and want to talk to me. According to Mitch, he’s made decent progress on his manuscript while I’m over here ignoring the emails from my editor asking for an update. I sent one back about a week ago, just so they didn't think I was dead or something, but I was vague on purpose.

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