Page 30 of Let Me

“No.”

“So, you want me to believe you never asked Luna to come on a paddle boat ride with you?”

I chuckle.“No, and fyi, if it doesn’t involve the galaxy, stars and planets, Luna isn’t interested.”

I laugh and say, “Yeah.I caught that vibe from her.She’s sweet, though.”

“They all are, but I only do group activities with them.It’s never one-on-one like this.”

Autumn eats more of her sandwich, but I can see her thinking, processing my every word.The boat creaks as we gently rock up and down.

She says, “I’m curious though—why didn’t you tell them about your diagnosis?”

“Because I only let people in my personal life who my heart tells me to trust.”

“And how does your heart know you can trust me?”

I look at her, finding her eyes piercing through my soul.I use the occasion to stare deeply into hers and say, “I feel it when I’m with you and, no, I haven’t done anything like this with the women in my circle.In fact, since my ex-fiancée told me to my face she couldn’t love a man who wasdyingdespite the fact that we were together for three years prior to my diagnosis, I purposely haven’t gotten close enough to anyone to have something like that happen to me again.”

“Well, that’s not fair.”

“Which part?The part about her leaving me, or that I haven’t gotten close to anyone?”

“Both, but especially the last part.It’s not fair to yourself, or the woman who could, or may have already fallen for you.”

Already fallen…

I narrow my eyes at her loaded comment, trying to decipher if she’s speaking hypothetically, or if she’s talking about herself.

I respond, “It may not be fair, but neither is having cancer.”

“I know, but—” she pauses reflectively, looking around at the beautiful scenery.After gathering her thoughts, she continues, “We all have a limited amount of time, Judah.We have to do what we can with what we’ve got.”

“Agreed.”

We finish our sandwiches and conversation ceases.I think she’s thinking about all of this – a conversation I hadn’t planned on having is ruining our time together.I blow an even breath as I look out at the trees lining the shore, admiring the way they connect with the water.The sun is relentless, beaming down upon us as midday approaches.

I glance over at Autumn, wondering if she’s going to say anything else to me, or if she’s completely turned off by our conversation.

“Autumn,” I say to get her attention.

She looks at me – doesn’t say a word, just looks as our boat moves with the water.

I say, “Please forgive me.I didn’t mean to burden you with my issues.”

“It’s not a burden.I’m honored that you feel comfortable enough to share your thoughts with me.”

“Then why are you quiet?”

“I was just thinking.”

“About?”I ask with raised brows.

“How—um—you know what?It’s nothing.”She drinks a sip of lemonade and then asks, “What were your plans for the rest of the day?”

“Don’t have any.I’m just going to see where the day takes me.Hopefully, it will be somewhere with you.”

She smiles again.

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