Page 32 of Let Me

“I didn’t?”

“No.Economics is complicated.You studied it.You mastered it.You have a degree in it.Yet, you’re working as a bagger.”

“I um—” I frown a little, not wanting to answer her question.My answer isn’t logical.It’s why my father has a hard time with my decisions.

To keep it as vague as possible, I say, “That’s a question I could go on forever about and since it would put me in a different headspace I don’t want to get into it at the moment.

“Understood,” she says.

“I think it’s a good time to head back now.”

“Okay.”

After returning to the dock, we take off our life vests, leave them on the counter at the registration desk, and then we walk toward our cars.

I say, “So, have you had enough of me for one day?”

“I don’t think I could ever have enough of you, Judah.”

“Ah, getting me back with the compliments, I see.”

“No—it’s not about that.I really like being with you.You’re a joy to be around.You appreciate people.Life.The little things.The trees.Plants.You don’t run across many people these days who enjoy these things—things that should be sacred.Things that come from God.You do.I like that very much.”

“I like that about you, too.”

We take more easy, unhurried steps until we reach the cars.Autumn asks, “Have you been to the nature center?”

“Yes, many times, but I’ll go for the one hundredth time if it means spending another second with you.”

She places both hands on her heart and looks at me.“I’m honored.”

Her expression caused a smile to ambush my face.No matter how much I try to withhold it from her, it pierces through.It’s the power she has.

“Okay, well, if you don’t have anything else planned, you wanna head over there?”

“Sure.Let’s do it.”

We disperse to our individual cars, and I trail her there.We immediately link up again as we enter.I pay for a couple of tickets and then we proceed to the exhibits.

While she’s in awe of things she’s probably seen a million times before, I admire her.I see happiness in her eyes – the same happiness I feel in my heart.It’s the kind of happiness I thought only came once in a lifetime, but here it is as present as the sun on this hot, summer day.It’s her.There’s no other explanation.

“Judah,” she says, reaching back for my hand like it’s second nature for her to do so.I accept her grasp and instantly I’m greeted by a feeling of home.Her hand in mine goes together like cheese and aged wine.How could I ever not have this?Have her?

“You good?”she asks with a quick glance over at me as I fall into stride beside her.

“Yes.I’m good.”

“Okay.You seem a little distracted.That’s why I asked.”

That’s because I am distracted.I’m distracted by your beauty.Your warm hand in mine.Your smile.Your humbleness.Your grace.I’m in awe that you know my struggles and yet, you still accept me for who I am.

“I’m okay,” I say, squeezing her hand gently.She looks at another exhibit with information on birds and says, “Ah, this is so nice.”

“What is?The birds?”

“No—well, yes, they are, too.I was talking about holding your hand.”

“Oh.”I want to release her hand.It’s useless for me to get accustomed to this feeling of closeness, knowing that it will be short-lived like everything else in my life.

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