Page 90 of Let Me

“No.I think you’re right.I’m tired.Autumn thinks we probably should’ve taken some time off work after the vacation, too.I’m starting to agree with her.”

“Then, take all the time you need, as long as the company allows you to.”

“I’ll be alright.I’m going to take a shower and catch a quick nap before Autumn gets off work.I’ll see you.”

“Alright, son.”

Chapter 37

It’s early December.The temperature hovers around the fifties, but that doesn’t stop us from being outside.I’ve been cuffed up with Judah for so long, I forgot how it felt to be with the rest of the gang.This evening, we meet at Lake Julian with blankets spread out on the ground.A few leaves flutter around us.We’ve eaten food that we brought to share with each other.I don’t eat much because my stomach has been uneasy for the last few weeks.

Tabitha brought her boyfriend along and, like everyone else who joins the group, he fits right in.Luna is still being herself, sitting on the ground with her eyes closed and her arms stretched up toward the sky.

I look around for Judah.He’s not sitting where he was before.He’s standing at the water’s edge, staring out into the lake.I get up and walk over to him.

“Hey.”

He turns around, looks at me, and says, “Hey, sweetheart.”

I reach for his hand, grasp it, and ask, “Why are you always sneaking off?”

I ask a question that I already know the answer to.Judah likes to think deeply and reflect on life.Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night to find him staring at me, sitting on the sofa staring at the blank TV screen, or even on the patio staring up at the sky.He prays a lot.Silently.I don’t hear him, but I know the look.

“I was just thinking about some things.Do you feel better?”

“I feel a little better.I ate some of Moriah’s potato salad.It was delicious.Did you get a chance to eat anything?”

“Not yet.I’ll grab something in a moment.”

He wraps his arms around me and lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me beneath the stars and then whispering in my ear, “I love you, girl.”

“Love you too, babe.Now, come on back over here and hang out with us.”

“Okay, sweetheart.”

At home, I watch him closely.Upon arrival, he takes off his shoes and goes straight to the bedroom.He sits on the bed, hangs his head and then rubs his eyes.From there, he walks into the bathroom and turns on the shower.I glance at my watch.It’s 10:38.

He doesn’t come out until 11:32 – almost a full hour later.It doesn’t take anyone that long to take a shower.I’m sitting in the living room watching the news while anticipating what he’s going to do next.Will he join me?Is he going straight to bed?

I get my answer when he steps into the kitchen, opens the fridge then asks, “Do you need anything out of here?”

“No.I’m good.”

He walks into the living room, sits beside me, and then leans close, planting a kiss on my cheek.He says, “We need to talk about something.”

“Okay,” I say, powering the TV off.“What’s up?”

“I know the reason you’ve been sick, and I’m wondering why you haven’t told me yet.”

Confusion clouds my expression.I say, “Judah, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He says, “Autumn, do you really not know?”

“Do I not—okay, timeout,” I say with a racing heart.“Tell me what you’re talking about because I’m completely in the dark here.”

He gets up, goes into the bedroom, and comes out with a bag, handing it to me.I open it to see that there’s a pregnancy test inside.

“Judah, why are you giving me this?”

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