Page 93 of Let Me

“Okay.”

They walk away and I’m left alone with Adrienne who’s steadily suffocating me with hugs.

Chapter 38

As soon as we step outside, Dad says, “Remember that day you signed off early from work and came by the house?

“Yeah, I remember.”

“I feel like you were trying to tell me something without telling me something.”

“No.It was—”

“You’re having a child, son,” he interrupts me to say.“I would’ve expected you to be more excited than this, especially with all the struggles you’ve been having lately.So, level with me.What’s really going on?”

I grimace and cross my arms, seemingly making myself breathe although it’s supposed to be voluntary.I promised myself that I wouldn’t tell anyone this, but he’s my Dad and I—I have to keep it a hundred with him.

I say, “Dad, if I tell you this, you cannot tell a soul—not even Mom.If you don’t think you can handle that, let me know right now.”

“I can handle it.Now, tell me, what’s going on?”

“The cancer is out of remission.”

He releases a defeated sigh and drops his head.All he can do is shake it from side-to-side, “No.”

“Yes.”

“What did the doctor say?What’s the prognosis?”

“He says I have about four to six months, if that.”

“No.No.No.This can’t be.”

“Dad—”

“It can’t be, Judah.You’re having a child for goodness sake!”

“Dad, please keep your voice down.”

“What about—what about treatment?”

“The tumor is more aggressive than it was before.According to the doctor, this type of recurrence is more resistant to treatment.The headaches have returned.I can’t focus at work, so I’m going to have to give that up.I get dizzy when I drive so I haven’t been doing much of that either.”

“But you can’t just not do anything.You have to fight.”

“And do what, Dad?Have my wife watch me suffer through those treatments?You remember how they were.I was sick as a dog every single day.The vomiting, the headaches…I was nearly immobile.Why would I go through all of that again when the doctor is telling me my chances of survival are less than ten percent?”

“Then get a second opinion.”

“I’ve already got a second and third opinion.They’re all telling me the same thing.”

“And you’re keeping all of this from Autumn?”

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s pregnant.I don’t want her worrying about me.Even if she wasn’t pregnant, I don’t want her to worry.”

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