Page 107 of Love Off Course

“It’s my ultimate gaydream! A hot pilot sandwich!” He starts shaking his ass at me as he hauls Carson to him. “If the wives ever allow you to have a hall pass, totes pick me. I’ll show you how fabulous a triple sword fight can be!”

“I’m trying not to imagine it, but you’ve already planted the seed,” I groan. “Sounds complicated.”

“Oh, sugar lips,” Damian purrs, “it’s really quite simple. One plus one plus one makes?—”

“Three?” Carson says at the same time I say, “Nope,” and Damian shrieks, “Magic!”

Carson is cracking up, laughing so hard he can barely stand up right, as Damian does some scandalous moves in front of him. And if it weren’t for Sheridan’s adorable fucking giggles, I would’ve jumped ship and left Carson to deal with this monster princess alone. But, since my wife is wildly entertained, I take one for the team. Even if that means having a hot pilot sandwich dance.

“Should I get a pilot uniform?” Damian asks, still gyrating in a way that’s making Randall blush furiously nearby. “We could play pilot dress up. Just the three of us. I’ll bring the tequila, boys.”

“Shoo, Dame,” Sher grumbles playfully. “Time to go bother Mateo.”

Mateo is already backing up, holding his hands in the air.

“Oh, sexy Mexi Matexi,” Damian sings. “Time for our dance!”

We all laugh as he prances off after my poor cousin. Kyle has pulled Estefania on the dance floor and is eye-fucking her hard enough I think I might get pregnant. It makes me wonder if that’s how it happened with those two because they don’t quite match up to me. That kid is like Clark Kent. A total nerd, but something about him has the singing princess of Costa Rica head over heels for him. So much so that she let him drag her off to Vegas months ago. Sheridan was too pregnant to be travelling, but my woman wasn’t about to let that stop her from seeing her best friend tie the knot.

“We need to hook Damian up with someone,” Sher says. “Are you sure we can’t convince Mateo to swing that way?”

Mateo is hiding with Doris now. Damian knows if he goes over there, Doris will go mama bear on him and he’ll be stuck talking about crochet patterns. He loves Doris like a mother, but the man was born to be the life of a party. Mateo is smart to figure that shit out quick.

“Probably better luck with Nicolás,” I say, nodding over at my other cousin. “I’ve only ever seen him with chicks, but he’s never watched one like a hawk.”

Sheridan gasps. “Oh my God. He’s totally watching him. We have to set them up on a date.”

“Nope,” I tell her. “Not happening. Damian would corrupt him. We’ll stay out of it. If fate brings them together, then so beit. I won’t be responsible for Damian turning my cousin into a glitter penis loving sex addict.”

She pouts. “But he secretly likes him. It’s so obvious now.”

“Do you know how hard it is to get glitter out of sheets?

“Oh, come on,” she grumbles. “Where’s your sense of adventure? Maybe Nicolás needs a little sparkle in his life.”

Our eyes travel to Damian, who’s stolen Kyle away from Estefania and trying hard to dirty dance with his unwilling assistant. When we glance back at Nicolás, he’s staring at the ground frowning.

“Look!” Sher hisses. “He needs a little push. Go push him. You’re family. It’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“I’ll do it.” She squeals and I lift a brow. “First, we must negotiate.”

“You’re supposed to do these things out of the goodness of your heart.”

“What would be the fun in that?” I taunt. “Nah, I want something. What will my hot wife give me for my matchmaking skills?”

She rolls her eyes. “Damian can die a lonely old man because I don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

“Liar,” I tease, kissing her lips. “Dile a papi lo que quieres, abejita.” Tell Daddy what you want, little bee.

“Don’t be gross.”

I laugh. “Your learning Spanish is becoming a problem.”

“Yeah, for my ears,” she groans. “Fine, I’ll bite. What do you want, my filthy husband?”

I flash her a wicked grin. “You. In your wedding dress. Against the piano in Eduardo’s restaurant.”

She eyes the crowd, all of which are partying outside under the bright sun. “Hmm. You’d have to be quick.”

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