Page 88 of Maid of Dishonor

“Okay, good. Let’s go,” he says. “Blow off some steam,” he adds under his breath.

I shrug. “Yeah, that’s fine. Pick me up?” I’m trying to get used to other people driving me, and if there’s anyone I trust enough to do it, it’s Carter.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a few. Is that enough time?”

He seems to be ready and raring to go, so I nod. “Yeah, that’s good. I’ll be waiting up with Wini. I thought she’d like to know that her little kissing stunt ended up working.”

“Her kissing stunt?” Carter says, and I can picture the little crease between his brows as he says it.

“I’ll tell you when you get here,” I say with a grin.

He says goodbye and then hangs up, so I go ahead and make my rounds before heading up to see Wini. I take a few minutes to check on all my plants, making sure no one seems overwatered or underwatered, and then I blow some more kisses at Moby, who’s making tiny little circles around his bowl. He’s adorable and I love him.

When I finally tell Moby I’ll see him later, I climb the steps and knock loudly on the door that separates the basement from the upstairs. There’s no response, but that’s typical of Wini, due to the halfway-deaf thing. So I unlock the door, open it, and stick my head around.

“Wini?” I call. “Can I come up?”

“In here,” she blares from the vicinity of the living room.

I emerge into the hallway and make my way to the living room, settling on the large, red couch. Wini is in her recliner, glasses perched on the end of her nose, reading a book that she’s holding mere inches from her face. The sight amuses me more than it might normally, but I guess I’m still riding the Carter-is-officially-mine high.

“Hi,” I say, smiling at her. “Guess what?”

She could not look any less interested, but it’s nice of her to answer me all the same. “What?” she says.

“You remember how you got Carter and me to kiss? Right here in this very room, in fact?”

Wini sniffs, looking more pointedly at her book. “I thought it might help nudge you two along.” She turns one page before muttering, “Not that it seems to have done much good. I told that boy to stop pussyfooting around.”

“Well, actually—” But I break off when I hear a knock at the front door. “Oh,” I say, standing. “That’s him. Hang on, Wini.”

“I’m on the edge of my seat,” she says flatly, never looking up from her book.

I just grin and bound out of the room.

“Hi,” I say to Carter when I open the door. Then, without waiting for him to respond, I grab his arm and drag him back into the living room.

“Wini,” I say loudly, and she looks up at us, her eyebrow raised imperiously. “Your scheming worked. Well done. It was completely inappropriate, but it worked anyway.” And with that, I go up on my toes and kiss Carter right on the lips.

He looks a little dazed when I pull away.

“I’m confused,” he finally says.

I don’t answer, though; I just watch Winifred. Sure enough, her eyebrows climb right up her forehead and disappear into her fluffy, white hair. Her keen eyes dart back and forth between Carter and I, and then, ever so slowly, she closes her book and sets it aside.

“I see you manned up,” she says to Carter. “Good for you. Now listen up, boy—er, Carter,” she amends. She leans forward, suddenly all business. “Mind you don’t get caught with your knickers down while playing strip poker. No one likes a cad.” She shakes one finger at him. “And make sure you keep your trousers pulled up all the way so that when you bend over no one has to see your crack.”

I sigh, scrubbing my hand over my face. “Thanks, Wini,” I say.

But Carter’s just laughing, his look of confusion gone. “I will absolutely avoid strip poker, and I will keep my pants pulled up,” he promises.

“Wini forced that little kiss on us because she thought we needed a kick in the pants,” I tell him. “I had been talking to her that morning about speed dating, and she said I would never want another man as long as you were hanging around, and then she said we needed a kick in the pants.”

“Ah,” Carter says, stepping closer to me and wrapping his arms around my waist, tugging me to his side. “Well, you weren’t wrong,” he tells Wini.

“Of course I wasn’t,” she barks. She looks back and forth between us again, her eyes calculating. Then a little smirk starts to grow on her face, and I know a second of anxiety before she speaks. “You two go on, then,” she says, shooing us away. That evil little smile widens. “Go Netflix—”

“Bye!” I practically shout, justbarelyin time to stop her from using the term “Netflix and chill.” I should never have told her what that means. “See you later,” I add. I can feel the heat flooding my cheeks as I give Carter a hefty shove out of the room.

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