Page 75 of Heidi Lucy Loses Her Mind

I glance down at my bare chest, where Heidi’s eyes are still fixed. “You want to touch?” I say, pointing at myself. “You can.” I half cringe at the words, because they sound like something a complete tool would say, but I don’t mean them the same way. It’s just…she looks curious. I want her to know it’s okay to touch me, that she’s safe.

Heidi’s eyes dart up to mine, guarded, hesitant, but somehow vulnerable too. I nod patiently, feeling a little bit like someone trying to feed a cat from their open palm. “You can,” I repeat.

“I—” she says, breaking off. “Can I?”

I nod once more.

“Ugh,” a grossed-out voice says from beside me, and I jump; Heidi does too. We both turn to look at Gemma, whose nose is wrinkled, her mouth twisted into an approximation of disgust.

“Oh,” Heidi says blankly, staring at her best friend. “I forgot you were there.”

“Clearly,” Gemma says. “I feel like I just walked in on you two doing the dirty, and you’re not even touching yet.” She gestures back and forth between Heidi and me, her face still screwed up. “This is way too much. I’m out.”

I blink as Gemma turns and wades to the edge of the little pool, stepping out and shaking her feet before slipping her flip flops back on. Then I look back to Heidi, frowning.

“What was that all about?” I say.

“I don’t know,” she says, her gaze on me once more. “But I’m gonna touch your chest.”

“Go for it.”

Her hand reaches out slowly at first, haltingly, until I see her steel herself, a determined look entering her eyes.

It’s just the tips of her fingers that touch me at first, trailing lightly down the middle of my chest, but it feels like they’re burning me, branding me as hers. She stops just short of my belly button and then moves back up to my pecs, poking one and then the other.

“They’re muscular,” she says vaguely.

“Mm-hmm.”

“And these…” She trails off as her fingers move lower to my abs—which are maybe not as defined as Eric’s but still respectable. “Muscular.”

She’s exploring. That’s what’s happening right now. She’s not being coy or seductive; she’s charting new paths, examining, investigating.

“You have goosebumps,” she says, looking up at me for the first time since she started. Her hand falls away from my skin.

“It feels good,” I say in a hoarse voice. My own hands are clenched into fists at my side, but I keep them firmly where they are.

“I can see how that would be the case,” she says slowly. “You know, it’s not like I’m completely inexperienced.” She swallows, her eyes still on me. “I’ve dated before.”

I nod, torn between wanting to know more and wanting to never again think about her with other men.

“But…it’s been a long time,” she admits. She tucks a few errant strands of hair behind her ear. “Like, since high school.”

Crap. Was that her first kiss, what I did to her the other day?

“No,” she says, and I blink at her.

“What?”

A little smile tugs at her lips. “You’re worrying that when you kissed me, it was my first time,” she says. “Right? But it wasn’t. I’d already kissed a guy or two.”

I sigh with relief, though I have no idea how she knew what I was thinking. “Good,” I say. “Good.” I glance around. “Let’s sit, if you’re done…?”

“I am,” she says quickly. “For now.”

For now.

The two of us wade to the edge of the spring, the warm water lapping at my shins as we move. We sit carefully and settle with our backs against the rim of the pool. It’s not the most comfortable thing in the world, because the rocks are jutting and grooved and sharp, but it’s not bad, either—especially since Heidi is next to me.

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