Page 118 of Cosmic Soul

Had he heard my thoughts? “H-how did you know?”

“A feeling. He needs you, Caleb. More than you know.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Try the truth.”

“I hurt him.”

“Then apologize and start again,” he said. “That’s what life is, Caleb—a series of choices, mistakes, and decisions. We always have a chance to start again. With every breath, our life starts anew.”

I needed to return to my Sunshine’s side, but at the same time, I felt so guilty. I hadn’t meant to pop off at him. The words had built in my gut until I exploded.

Tinlorray appeared in my thoughts. I hadn’t spoken to her since she and Seth had freed me from the locked ward. I’d tried, but she hadn’t responded. Maybe it would be better to see her in person? Yet how could I see her when I’d stolen her brother?

“Caleb?” Monty said, drawing me from my thoughts.

“I’ll talk to him,” I lied. I needed to see Tinlorray to make sure she was okay. I’d promised Yolkeltod, and it was literally the least I could do. I left Monty and slipped, rather easily, out of the palace and snuck into the city.

Chapter 46

Silence is an answer.

I wound through the streets, head down. I had to see Tinlorray; I’d promised Yolkeltod. Selfishly, I hoped she would alleviate this all-consuming guilt that wouldn’t abate. I needed to be able to breathe without suffocating or thinking I’d stolen something precious. How could I live my life like that? Monty said I needed to make peace with it, but how could I do that when Tinlorray was devastated and her brother was gone?

I kept close to the buildings until I made it to the port where I boarded the shuttle that would take me to where Tinlorray lived. The second I crossed the threshold, my muscles froze and my breathing harshened. I had no idea why; shuttles had never bothered me before.

In the past, I would’ve talked to the strangers next to me. I would’ve bounced around investigating. I would have… I stopped that train of thought. The past was the past. I might be me, but I was different. Now, the thought of being near someone or having them talk to me made me anxious.

The reality of my life had changed, and I had to adjust.

With every shake and vibration of the shuttle, I fought back tears. I needed off, and I needed it now.

When it finally docked, I pushed through the crowd to the exit. The drakcol stared at me, some even growled, but no one said anything about my rude behavior.

By the time I’d reached Tinlorray’s complex, my knees shook and my chest ached. I started to pant and my vision wavered as if I was going to pass out. I pressed a hand on the side of the building, half-bent over, and tried to breathe. God, the pain was horrible. It was everywhere, throbbing, aching, stabbing, so many different types all demanding my attention.

“Yo—Caleb,” a voice said from in front of me.

“Tinlorray,” I said, voice rough.

She had her arms wrapped around her waist and her tail thrashed, eyes glassy with emotion. Otherwise, she appeared well enough in clean clothes with her neatly braided hair.

I gave her a shaky smile. “I’m here to check on you.”

“You need to leave.”

“What?” I straightened, my heart pounding so hard I feared it would rip out of my chest.

Tinlorray’s hands curled into shaking fists. “I didn’t answer you, Caleb. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t even want to receive notes from you. You are not Yolkeltod. You are not my brother.”

“Tinlorray.” I didn’t know what to say.

“Stop. Just stop,” Tinlorray snapped. “I helped you, alright? I helped you be with your soulmate. I don’t want to see you anymore. We aren’t friends. We aren’t family. We are nothing.”

“Yolkeltod asked me to take care of you.”

A vicious roar ripped out of her throat as her wings sprawled. I cowered, shuffling back to get away from her, but I moved too fast and tripped, collapsing to the ground. Fiery knives shot up my spine, stealing my breath.

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