Page 37 of Cosmic Soul

I replied, “Then I can ogle you in peace.”

“You are more than welcome to.”

Chapter 16

Like minds.

I stared at the door, wings rustling. Caleb had gone back to the medical facility to check on Tinlorray and her brain-dead brother. I’d wanted to go with him because, for some reason, whenever he was out of my sight a pit would grow in my stomach and energy filled my veins. I needed to see him. Be with him.

The thought made me swallow and my cock twitch. I looked down. That was unexpected.

“This is not good.”

While not many mediums had lived in our recorded history, there had been enough. More than one had documented the danger of growing too fond of a spirit and hindering their journey.

If I tried to romance Caleb, it would definitely be a hindrance.

Did I even desire to court him?

His contagious smile and laugh resounded through my thoughts. He was always bouncing around, interested in everything, no matter how small. There was an energy about Caleb that had drawn me in from my first glimpse of him.

Could I imagine my life without him?

My knees trembled, and I sank to the couch. I placed a hand over my throbbing soul. I didn’t wish for Caleb to leave. I hoped to court him. No. That wasn’t enough—not near enough. I desired to claim him as mine. It was foolish. It was impossible. Yet that didn’t deter my desires.

In the last few days after I invited Caleb to watch me in hand-to-hand combat class, I’d been flirting with him and allowing him to touch me. The soft chill that swept over me whenever he brushed me was addicting, and I craved more.

Caleb made me laugh. He made me smile. He drew me out of my head with an ease I didn’t understand.

I yearned for him to be mine, even though I knew in the end, we couldn’t be, not truly. This was doomed to end in soul-rending agony.

If I admitted my feelings, especially to him, I could become an impediment to his journey, which was dangerous. If the soul remained on this plane for too long, they faded, slowly disappearing as time passed. It was believed the soul came apart, unable to stay together, and vanished. One of the mediums who came before me had been a spiritual soul who’d written that the vanished soul didn’t pass on to the next plane. They were gone. Ceased to exist.

How could I allow that to happen to Caleb? Yet at the same time, how did I let him go?

The door chimed. I didn’t want company, not in the slightest. Still, I went to see who was here.

“Fyn,” Seth said, hands buried in his thick jacket. Humans must have a warmer planet than ours because Seth usually wore the same cloth jackets that came in a variety of dark colors. Sweat dotted his temple, though. I should ask Kalvoxrencol what temperature humans were used to. While I doubted it affected Caleb much in his current state, I would enjoy knowing.

What I truly needed was to have access to the human database to research for myself. But to be granted that, I would have to tell people of my affection for Caleb, and we were nothing. Not yet at least. Besides, I didn’t know if Caleb felt the same as I did. At times, I caught glimmers of attraction in his eyes or detected the fervor of desire in his voice, but still, I remained unsure.

“Seth, where’s Kalvoxrencol?” My brother hated to leave Seth alone; something I now understood.

“Meeting with the Ranks.”

“Again?”

Seth swallowed. “They want to meet with me. I don’t want to. Your parents are trying to mediate between Kal and them. Hal and Gil are there too.”

Mediation, I thought, stifling a snort. Kalvoxrencol wouldn’t negotiate when it came to the people he loved. Seth was the most important person in his life, and Kalvoxrencol was excessively protective; he wouldn’t allow anyone near Seth unless Seth agreed.

“Did he send you here?” I didn’t mind protecting Seth.

He lifted and lowered his shoulders. I still didn’t know what that motion meant. “I was going to hang out with Urgg, but they’re with their mate. Wyn has meetings all day. Kal doesn’t want me to stay in our apartment alone in case someone comes. He likes to worry.”

“No one, not even the Ranks, would try and force you to leave, Seth. You are safe here.”

“I know. Kal was paranoid about leaving me, though, so I figured I would hang out with you and Caleb.”

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