Page 38 of Cosmic Soul

“He’s not here at the moment.”

“Oh.” he said, and I motioned for Seth to sit, but he asked, “Can we go to the garden?”

“Of course.” We headed outside as I said, “Caleb went to check on someone.”

“What? He’s haunting someone?”

Not how I would have phrased it, but it was accurate, I supposed. “It’s complicated.”

A gust of air tousled Seth’s short hair, and I wondered if it was soft. Was Caleb’s? It was on the tip of my tongue to request Seth’s permission to touch him so I would know more of what Caleb was like, but that was odd.

I opened my mouth to ask anyway because I was a selfish creature, but I paused. Seth’s expression was tight as he took deep breaths.

“Are you quite alright?”

“What?” he asked, whipping toward me.

“Are you alright?”

Seth released a long gust of air—another human thing I didn’t understand. “No.”

“May I ask what’s wrong?”

His shoulders hunched.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked. Guilt prodded me. I didn’t want to be a bother to him; I wanted to help. Not that I was much help. I never helped anyone.

“I have anxiety,” he said in a low voice.

Kalvoxrencol had mentioned that to me.

“To put it simply, my brain sees threats when there are none. I always think of the worst-case scenario or whatcouldhappen. I second guess every decision, and making one is extremely hard.”

This I understood.

“I’m fighting my brain,” he said. “Some days I don’t win. Today is a bad day.”

“Did you tell Kalvoxrencol before he left?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t want to worry him.”

I led Seth into my greenhouse. It shocked me that I didn’t mind Seth in my greenhouse. I didn’t even allow Kalvoxrencol in here very often, but somehow, Seth was different. He wandered around, and I allowed him to explore for a few minutes before giving him a metal tub.

Together we plucked dying flowers off the many plants.

“Do you know why my brothers call me ‘Bloom?’” I asked.

“No. Kal’s never said.”

“I’ve always liked plants,” I said. “Even when I was very small. When I was perhaps two, Serlotminden and I were playing in the garden, and he raced over a flower, crushing it. He’s called ‘Speedy’ because he is always running from one place to another.” It was no shock when he became a shuttle racer. “I cried.”

“What?”

I repeated, “I cried. Not small tears, but heaving sobs as I clutched the ruined bloom. I was utterly distraught that it was gone, that I couldn’t help it. Serlotminden tried to comfort me, but when he couldn’t, he fell to the ground beside me and cried as well.”

Seth laughed.

What a sight we must have been. “Dontilvynsan found us like that. He was eleven at the time, and his inner fire had already manifested. He knew from my thoughts why I was upset; I was mourning the flower. Dontilvynsan picked me up and grabbed Serlotminden’s hand. He told me, ‘Don’t worry. This flower will go to the ground and be reborn. In the meantime, I will find you another.’”

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