Page 39 of Cosmic Soul

“That’s sweet.”

“Dontilvynsan might be the largest of us and a captain in the navy, but he is by far the most understanding.”

“Did he call you Bloom?”

“He did,” I said, gesturing to the plants around me. “I’ve always liked plants because I understand them. They don’t confuse me.”

“I get that.”

“I understand fighting your own mind,” I whispered. “I understand having days so bad you wonder if it’s worth it to continue. If not being here would be easier for yourself and those you love. I understand the fear of every choice. I understand the guilt of every mistake and the worry that you are the worst thing in everyone’s life.” I took a deep breath to steady the rapid beat of my soul and to silence my words. “I receive injections and speak to my doctor, usually, but it doesn’t take them away.”

Seth patted my arm, making both of us uncomfortable. “I know. Kal told me you have… I think he called it moroseness.”

“Yes.”

He said, “You can always talk to me.”

“You as well. I would be honored to keep you company on bad days.”

“Me too.”

“I would like permissions.”

“That’s right,” Seth said. “Friends require permissions.”

“So do family. I’m not physically affectionate, but I don’t mind if you occasionally hug or pat me like you just did. I don’t wish to snuggle or to be touched often, though, especially my tail or wings.”

“I’m the same.” Seth’s eyes darted away from me. “Don’t surprise me, though. Sometimes I don’t do well when I get randomly grabbed.”

Anger curled in my gut as Kalvoxrencol’s words came back to me. Seth had been abused by his caregivers and past partners.A burning desire to shred those people apart and keep my little brother’s mate, my new mate-brother, safe swept through me. Nothing would ever happen to Seth again. Not ever.

“You know Kalvoxrencol will never harm you, right?”

“I do,” he replied. “Trust me, I know.”

I started plucking wilted flowers, and Seth followed suit. We stayed silent, but I felt no pressure to fill the quiet. It was peaceful. Often when people were with me like this, and we weren’t speaking, I had the urge to say something, anything, but not with Seth.

A knock on the glass made me start, but Seth leaped, sending the metal compost bin to the ground; dead leaves and withered flowers littered the moss-covered floor. I patted Seth’s arm and curled my tail around his wrist, squeezing him, then I turned to the doors, expecting one of my brothers—but it was someone else.

“Urgg,” Seth called.

We stepped outside, and the wind ruffled my hair. I hadn’t realized how hot the greenhouse was until I was out in the free air. Urgg was dressed in their usual leather vest and trousers, but they were bright orange which contrasted against their green skin and black tattoos.

“Seth,” Urgg said, clapping his shoulder.

Seth staggered under the hit, but he gave Urgg a smile.

“Zoltilvoxfyn,” they said, not touching me, as I didn’t like it.

“Urgg, what are you doing here?” I asked, peeking around for Caleb, even though I knew he wasn’t present. He had, on several occasions, mentioned meeting Urgg, and now, he wasn’t here when they were.

“I can’t visit Seth? He even pinged me earlier, but I had plans with Talvax, who’s the best and must come first.”

“Naturally,” Seth commented dryly. Urgg was effusive in their love of their mate.

“But then Talvax got called away regarding the Admiral Ven. She tried to get out of it, but she had to go. So here I am for Seth. We’ll eat, we’ll drink, and maybe we’ll break something or spill blood,” Urgg finished with a broad grin, smacking Seth’s shoulder again. When he winced, I tugged Seth to my side with my tail around his wrist.

Seth asked, “Do you have a date for when you and Talvax are returning to the Admiral Ven?”

---