My gaze drifts across the street.
Quinlan Manor stands like a beacon of my jealousy for so many years. That happy house is as strong a memoryas the smell of spring in the air.
I should march right over there and tell Norah I’m pregnant. I should fight for my baby to have a place in her family. But a black car pulls up, and I see Ewan hop out clutching his youngest baby girl in one arm. His oldest daughter Sadie gets out next followed by Maggie chasing after her big sister the way Neve chased after me. The girls run up the front steps, their laughter finding my ears from across the street.
Bad timing.
I get into my old Benz instead. I don’t belong there. And I don’t belong here anymore.
As I drive away, I settle into the comfort zone I’ve felt my whole life: I am truly, utterly alone.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Shane
After two weeks in Waterford with Blade, tracking down Uncle Finn for my father’s memorial service and then finding out he’s in jail and won’t be out until August, I push into my house with even more dread in my heart.
Behind the old speckled glass and wooden entry door, the house is empty. Except for Liz. She lives in the background of my life. The silence wraps around me, thick and suffocating, crushing my ribs like a vise. The only sound is the blood rushing through my ears, screaming the ugly truth.
Lennox is gone.
I don’t know why I expected anything else. I fucking kicked her out. Told her I didn’t want to ever see her again. Christ, I wasn’t prepared for how final it would feel. How it’s tearing at my insides like sharp-as-fuck knives.
“Put those in my room,” I tell my guard holding my suitcases.
I jog ahead up the stairs, my steps heavy. Turning right at the landing, I walk slowly to Lennox’s bedroom.
Or what used to be her bedroom.
I open the door, welcoming the punishing scent of Lennox’s perfume to remind me I made the biggest mistake of my life.
But I don’t smell Lennox, who filled my heart with joy. Only whiffs of furniture polish and antiseptic greet me.
Every trace of the life that once filled this space is erased. My chest tightens as I scan the room. The bed is perfectly made like it’s never been slept in. Like I’ve never fucked her in this bed and dirtied up those sheets or slammed that damn headboard into the sheetrock while Icame inside her.
It’s like none of it ever happened. Am I going mad?
I open the dresser drawers gawking at their emptiness. The closet door hangs open, revealing a row of bare hangers.
I swallow hard.She took everything.
Except for the lingerie she wore on our wedding night. It sits on the same hook. A scalding reminder of my fuck up.
“Liz!” I yell to my housekeeper.
She hurries in, her expression alarmed. “Yes, sir?”
I turn to her, fury bubbling under my skin. “I told you not to touch this room.”
Her eyes widen in fear from my tone, and she steps back. “Ididn’t, Mr. Quinlan. I swear.”
I clench my jaw. “Then why does it smell like cleaning products?”
Liz hesitates before speaking. “She cleaned it, sir. Your...wife. Before she left. She scrubbed every inch. On her hands and knees. I offered to do it, but she refused. I think... I think she was getting rid of the cat dander.”
My stomach drops.
Hawk.