Page 10 of Their Darkest Needs

“What if it’s important?” I get up and walk closer to him. His hand is on the door and his jaw tightens. He’s clearly annoyed at my question, but why?

“You open for no one when I’m not home. I’m not going to come home again to my wife being attacked.” His voice is deeper, and there's anger in it. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I can understand his fear and it only happened recently, but that doesn’t mean I should get locked up here. Besides, his security is so tight, I don’t think anyone would be even able to get here without someone at least being warned. Hence the question: how did my attacker get in here, and why didn’t I stay in this house with Mara? The police told me that she died in her house, and since it’s so safe here, why wouldn't I just let her spend the night here? If only I could just remember.

Dark thoughts are filling my head again, and I can feel something heavy in my throat. I think it’s guilt. I mean I could’ve saved her—I should've just let her stay here.

Before the tears come, someone is holding me tightly, whispering something in my ear.

“I shouldn’t have brought it up, I'm sorry, baby. Just stay safe, and if you want to take a walk, make sure to stay on the terrain and to keep a taser with you just in case, okay?” He wipes his thumbs over my cheeks.Was I crying?

I nod at him and watch him leave the house. I wait until his car is fully out of sight before I close the door and go to the living room to sit down and grab my new book,Run Rabbit, Runby Talia Lane. If there’s something that helps me take my mind away from things, it’s reading books, and Talia is one of my favourite authors.

It’s been over four hours now since Ryan left, and I have never felt so alone in my life. I’ve thought about texting him, but I didn’t want to come across as ‘too needy’, so I kept deleting a message and then retyping to delete it again. I should just wait till he’s home, I mean, he’s busy and I don’t want to intrude just because I'm lonely.Ugh,I hate it, I hate this.

I used to be able to call Mara, and she would always be there, but I guess that’s not possible anymore. A small sob leaves my lips.

This is unfair. Why did she have to go? She had so much to live for and it’s all because of some sick fuck. Tears are pouring down my face, but it’s not only sadness I feel, oh no, there's anger too.

Not only did he take her from me, but the police said they couldn’t even find him. So this sicko could literally go and attack more innocent women for no reason.

The buzzing of my phone pulls me out of my own head. Lifting it up, I notice it’s Ryan calling me, probably to check up on me. I can’t say I don’t feel relieved that he’s calling me now, though. I felt like I was going to spiral again, and I really don’t like being alone in this quiet and big house with no one to talk to.

“Still alive in there?”

I laugh through a sob and try to sound as happy as I can, but it feels so forced and untrue.

“Yeah. H—how is work?” My voice hitches slightly and I really hope he doesn’t notice it. It’s quiet for a couple of seconds on the line before he starts to talk again.

“What’s wrong? Are you crying? You know what, I'm going to come home early today. I shouldn’t be leaving you alone so quickly.” He starts to mumble some things to himself, and I can’t fully hear anything, but he’s definitely cursing himself. It’s almost making it impossible for me to say something between his ranting.

“Why? It’s okay, everything is okay. I just need some air, that’s all.” I can hear him packing his stuff on the other side while he talks to someone in the background.

“Because you are alone and crying. Don’t think I don’t know you enough to know when you are not okay.” I can’t hold the tears from flowing anymore as I start to full-on cry on the phone, not even able to say a simple word.Why am I like this? Get it together.

“Baby, I’m coming home okay. Just—why don’t you go into the garden? Take some breaths of fresh air and calm your mind until I’m back home.”

I’m not used to this kind of thing and I don’t know how to feel about it. I am a grown woman. I should be able to take care of myself, and I don’t want to become that one person who always relies on others. I mean, look how far it got me with Mara. I relied on her for everything, and now I’m just a total mess.

“Baby?”

“Y—yeah,” I make out between sobs. Maybe going outside might do me some good. I walk towards the garden while still having him on the phone. He is telling me some stuff about when he’ll be here and the things I can do in the meanwhile, but I can’t fully focus on everything because of how fast he is talking, and feeling drained from the crying isn’t helping me either.

“So, you’ll be careful, right?” He sounds so worried, leaving his work early to come here. All because I can’t deal with Mara’s death.Don’t think like that, it will only make things worse.

“Babe? You there?”

I hum my response, still slightly distracted with my own thoughts.

“I’ll give you some time to clear your head. I'll be there in twenty minutes tops,” he says. I might not be able to see him, but I can definitely imagine him smiling while saying it based on his tone.

“Okay. See you soon,” I say before I hang up on him, while finally opening the door to his garden. Fresh air greets me and I take in a deep breath before I start to explore the area. It’s huge here, there’s flowers on both sides, a small fountain, and a pathway that leads to the forest that is attached to his garden.

I also notice an older man who is planting something close to the forest.

“Oh, hi.” I wave at the man and he looks at me and smiles. There's a tooth missing and his back is slightly bent. Does he work here?

“Hi miss. Here because of the cemetery too?” he asks, making me frown at him. There's a cemetery close by? Ryan never mentioned anything about it.

“I’m not sure I know what you are talking about?”

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