Page 15 of Their Darkest Needs

Adelina grabs my hand in hers again and places both of our hands on the coffin, as if to say we are in it together, you are not alone. I think I love her already.

“To a better afterlife,” she whispers to the coffin. She's having a private moment with her old lover, so I try to give her some privacy while waiting for her to leave the room with me. “And don’t worry. I will take care of what you left behind babe.” She's sniffing and looking back at me, forcing a smile. I hate these forced smiles; they all seem so fake.

I do admire her for the strength she has. She lost her love just as much as I lost a friend. We shouldn’t have to be going through it like this. It’s not fair.

“I’ll keep you alive,” I croak out in a final whisper, almost sobbing through my words. My throat feels like it’s stuck and it’s hard to get my breath out. Ryan can see how much I’m struggling and gently pushes me forward away from the casket while I try, I really try not to break down right now.

We’re all waiting outside for the coffin to be brought below the ground. Both Adelina and I are a sobbing mess from the moment they started to lift it down, and while Felix is beside Ryan, talking to him, his wife Evelyn is here with us too, giving us tissues and holding our hands.

I haven't had a chance to talk to her a lot, but she seems very sweet. I’m glad Ryan has people like this in his life.Maybe someday I could too.

“You know, if you want, after this you guys can come over to our place and we can have a girl’s night,” Evelyn tells us with a sad smile. I appreciate that she’s trying to distract us, but I don’t feel like being social after all of this. I just need my warm shower and a warm blanket.

“I’m sorry, I think I just need to be alone for the time being, but in the future I will,” I tell her. She nods and starts to talk to Adelina while I stare at the pile of dirt that is now my friend's final home. Somewhere I still had hope that all of this is some nightmare and that she’ll wake up in that damn casket. but seeing her lying there and being placed in the ground has shattered that hope completely.

I take a breath, trying not to scream how horrible all of this is.

I don’t know how long I have been standing here, but I’m guessing it’s been longer than I thought. The sky is getting darker, and when I look behind me, I only see Ryan standing there looking at me.

“Ready to go home, love?” His voice is so gentle, and it just makes me love him even more than I thought was possible.

I turn around to look back one last time, only now the grave is gone, and when I turn to look at Ryan, he’s no longer there either. The air feels cold. No, not just cold but freezing. There are dark trees surrounding me. I think I am in the old cemetery again. When I look back to where the grave was supposed to be, my suspicion is confirmed.Yup, I'm back. Shit!

Panic is rising in my chest, my breath is hitching, it's only getting darker and darker. I don’t understand what’s happening. Is this a dream?

“Don’t you want her back?” The voice sounds old but familiar, and I look around me, finding the same man standing there, next to that same grave like the first time I came here. He’s still wearing those old farmer's clothes. They’re dirtier than the lasttime, though. Like he’s been working all day, but I know that’s not true because he’s not real. None of this is.

“Not real, you are not real.” I keep repeating it like it’s my personal mantra, hoping it will make him go away, but all it does is make him laugh. The sound echoes through the forest.

“Do you lie to yourself often?” he asks while I turn to make a run for it. But he won’t have it. The moment I turn, he’s standing there, so close that we are almost face to face. What the fuck does he want from me? I need to get out of here.

“Do you want her back, girl?” he asks, his voice sterner this time. It looks like he's getting annoyed at me for not answering, as if I’m a child not listening to its parent. After repeating the question for the third time, I give in, hoping it will make him go away. Leave me be.

“I do, but I can’t.” I’m sobbing, panicking, and I have this heavy feeling on my chest that I can’t get rid of. I feel like my heart might break through my ribcage like those xenomorphs do in the movie Alien.

“You can! Bury her here and you’ll see her again.” I walk backwards away from him. This is not happening, he’s lying. No!

“You think it’s unfair, her death, her rotting corpse while the killer is still alive. Living his life to the fullest.” A foul smile plays on his face.

“You can have her back. Don’t you want to see her again? We speak, she and I. She says she misses you.” He takes a step closer to me, raising his hand, wanting me to take it. I hold back a breath. What if he’s honest and she did send him to me to get back here with me?

“How do I know you aren't lying to me?” I ask him in a voice I do not fully recognise as my own.

“See for yourself,” he says, pointing behind me. I turn to where he’s pointing and sobs uncontrollably. She's there, Mara. She's actually there. Standing. Alive. How?

Her dark hair is waving in the wind, but she doesn’t fully seem right. She feels odd too.

“M—Mara?” I ask in between sobs. She moves her head to the side and a smile that I haven’t seen her have before plays on her lips.

“Don’t you want me back?” Her voice is soft, but the way she looks doesn’t seem to fit the tone.

“I—I do. I miss you so fucking much!” I scream out, crying. Why isn’t she coming to me? Trying to hug me?

I run to her, hoping to hold her, but it's like touching the wind. All I feel is a cold breeze while she stands before me again, looking down, annoyed.

“You can’t touch me, I’m dead,” she coldly states. Like she blames me for it all too. Maybe she does. My heart feels like it has been ripped out and then stomped on.

I keep sobbing, trying to tell her how sorry I am, but nothing coherent is coming out.

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