“If you really are sorry, want to hold me again, then bury me here. As soon as the funeral is over, so I will still have a chance to be back.” I look back at the empty spot I am standing at. Is this where they want me to bury her? There’s a spider crawling in between the dirt, but I don’t move away from it. What if it’s a sign? What if it’s trying to tell me something?
I look back to where Mara is standing and see she’s no longer there and has been replaced by the man from earlier. There are spiders crawling over his clothes into his hair, but he doesn’t seem fazed by it.
“You know what to do,” is all he says before a heavy wind passes me and I close my eyes to keep the mud from getting into them.
“Taylor? Are you okay? Please say something.”
Groaning, I open my eyes. It’s so bright out here, and Ryan is right in front of my face, crouched down on the ground.
“What happened?” I croak out. He seems relieved the moment sound comes from my mouth and takes a deep breath, pulling me in for a tight hug while he laughs in between sobs.
“You fainted. I called the ambulance. They will be here soon, just keep talking to me, love.”
“I saw her.” He moves my head, holding it in with his big hands, to make us stare into each other's eyes. His beautiful blue eyes seem filled with worry as he frowns at me.
“Does your head hurt?” He starts to rub my head with his hand, seeing my reaction to the spots he touches.
“No, stop that! I really saw her.” He opens his mouth a few times and then closes it again.
“I really did,” I tell him confidently. “You have to believe me.” I try to push myself away from him but his grip on me is like iron, unmoving.
“Love, I need you to calm down.” I try to hit his chest, trying to make him let me go, but he’s not giving in. He’s as hard and unyielding as a stone wall.
“Taylor, stop! The ambulance will be here soon, okay?” He keeps holding me while I keep trying to push and scratch him. Why doesn’t he believe me? Why isn’t he letting me go? I didn’t imagine all of that. I know I didn’t. It was real.
He wasn’t lying about the ambulance. I can already hear the sirens coming from afar, but I don’t care. I know what I saw and I need him to see it too. I don’t give up and keep yelling and pushing at him, so he’d let me go, so I can show him that it’s real.
At some point, I feel a small pinch in my arm, and then everything feels heavy until it gets dark. Only then do I give in and let go.
Idon’t know what came over her. Her pupils were dilated and she was so hysterical, hitting and clawing at me while shouting so loud I think she might have strained her vocal cords.
I was glad when the medics came and gave her something to calm down. I wasn’t sure I would have been able to hold her any longer, but I was so worried she would hurt herself.
She kept talking about having seen Mara, but I think maybe her concussion was more serious than we thought before. That's why I asked for every scan and check-up possible. I want to make sure she won't have these episodes anymore. My heart broke seeing her like this.
I curse to myself. Just married and already she’s losing it.
I should’ve never left her side that night. I thought they would be fine. A mistake I’ll take full blame for. Never again. I can promise you that, little doe.
“Sir, we just checked the scans, and so far, everything seems well. There’s also no sign of a concussion still being there.” I look at the doctor angrily.
“So then what? She never behaved like this before,” I snap back, raising my voice at him.
“We cannot find anyth—” I get up, the act making the chair fall over, and stand in front of him.
“Then look better,” I tell him face to face. He gulps for a second and then regains his position before moving away from me.
“Grief can do a lot to a person. Maybe you should consider getting a psychologist. I’ll prescribe her something for her hysteria.” He closes the door, and I grab the chair out of anger and throw it at the door.
Who the fuck does he think he is? She’s not fucking crazy. I know her, something is not right.
I turn back to where she’s lying. She seems so peaceful now, and I don’t know what to do to keep her that way anymore. If I could bring Mara back, I would, but that's impossible. I tried to make Evelyn and her get along, but she doesn’t even want to try it. Maybe I should invite her over to the house next time. She can’t just shut herself off like this. I won't let her.
“Ryan?” Her eyes slowly start to flutter open while she's mumbling something I can’t fully understand.
“It’s okay, love, I’m here.” I keep my hand on top of her head, brushing it with my thumb.
“I really saw her,” she whispers, unable to keep her eyes open for longer than a couple of seconds.