Page 5 of Their Darkest Needs

“Don’t worry, love, take the time you need,” he says with a smile. Why would he be smiling about that? His eyes soften as he looks at me staring at him, bewildered. The nurse gets up and leaves us alone.

The way he looks at me, like I’m the only thing that matters, makes my heart bounce harder, but it also makes me suspicious. How did I even find a man like that? He could be straight from the romance books I read. Well, not really, since those men are huge red flags, but still.

“Who are you? And how do you know me?” He keeps that damn smile on his face. It’s unnerving, but also nice to look at. He takes the chair and moves it closer before he sits next to me.He leans back with his legs open, one arm on his leg, the other holding his coffee.

“I’m your husband. The doctor told me not to strain your memory, so I won't give you too many details yet, but we met in 2020, on the New Year, actually.” He says the word ‘husband’ so casually like he’s been saying it for a long time. It feels odd that I met him two months after the last day I remember. But I shouldn’t get too paranoid, it’s probably a coincidence. People meet during New Year's all the time.

“Are you really who you claim to be? I lost a lot already, I don’t want to add more to that.” My eyes are burning, and they feel puffy, and it feels like there's something stuck in my throat the moment I think about the possibility of Mara no longer being in my life.

He places his cup on the floor next to his chair and gets up to hold my hand.

I pull away from him, causing him to frown.

“I told you I’m your husband. You can check our wedding papers if you don’t believe me,” he states, slight annoyance in his tone.

“I don’t recall marrying you,” I snap at him a little too rudely. I know I shouldn’t, but something tells me that there are things not adding up. If only I could just remember what that was.

He sighs and sits back down, picks up his coffee, and takes a sip.

“This amnesia is definitely not going to make things easy, but we’ll get through it. One step at a time, right?” He looks worried, and something else I can’t fully name.Maybe I’m hurting him with my questions?

“I’m sorry, I’m tired and I feel like none of this is real. I just want to go back to when I actually remember what was happening.” I sob slightly.

He moves forward and kisses my forehead. “Do you want to see pictures of us together?” Before I can answer him, he grabs his phone and turns it to me. He shows me pictures of us lying on the couch, at a picnic, me in a wedding dress.How can I not remember any of this?

I gape at the pictures. This really looks like we are married. I try to think about my past, but my head is blank, and all I remember is me and Mara moving her stuff from college.

He takes in my silence and brushes his hand softly against my cheek. “Don’t worry, love, you hit your head pretty hard. Try to rest so I can take you home soon.” There’s sympathy in his eyes. He seems too good to be true, but maybe that’s a good thing. These last couple of hours have been horrible and confusing. I lost my friend, even if I don’t want to admit it. She would have been here already if she were still alive. I close my eyes again, letting sleep overtake me. I’m too tired to fight it all.

I feel soft lips pressed against my forehead and soft murmurs I can’t fully hear before sleep grabs me again.

Ryan

This accident is a curse and a blessing. I feel horrible for my little doe losing her friend like that. Sometimes I feel like she is not fully taking it in and that she doesn’t believe Mara is dead. I just hope once it finally gets to her, she’ll survive the hit.

At least thanks to her memory loss, she has her husband by her side to take care of her. This has been the best thing to have ever happened to me. Not that I wanted her to get attacked. I wish it were because of different circumstances, but you only get one shot at these things, and I am taking this moment with both hands.

I place my phone back in my pocket. She had some troubles believing it at first, that’s why I made sure during the time she was asleep that I had all the photoshopped pictures downloaded onto my phone. Since I had already made our wedding papers before, she didn’t know about them yet. It was going to be a surprise, but hey, I’m not complaining.

Felix laughed at me when I called him to explain the situation, but he has his way of getting his girl, and I have mine. At least mine is less fucked up than his.

She’s sleeping again, but I can see pain and worry edged onto her face. Even in sleep, this haunts her.

Good thing her husband is here. Ha, husband. I’ll never get enough of saying that.

I smile at the thought of her sitting in our garden, playing with our children. I want at least five of them, though I wouldn’t complain if we had more.

Felix is already moving her stuff over to my place. He told Evelyn he was helping my girlfriend move in, which isn’t a complete lie.

“Mmmm. N—no, s—stop, no!” I hate seeing my wife having nightmares like this, but she has been having them for as long as I have known her.

Sometimes, when I wasn’t able to be near her and the nightmares would come, I didn't have much of an option to just see it out on my computer screen. Combining work and watching my little doe is not always efficient. The times, however, I was close by, I would just sneak in and hold her until it was over. I read that waking someone when they have nightmares can end badly, and I'd rather not take that risk.

I walk over to her and brush my hand over her hair while murmuring to her. So far, this has helped the most whenever she’s had nightmares. She moves a lot, and it takes some time before she’s calm again and stops moving around. I keep my hand against her forehead, repeatedly brushing her skin with my thumb. She seems so beautiful and innocent lying here.

After a while the older nurse—Kathy or Katie, I think—comes to take a look. She seemed wary of me from the moment I came in holding her, but I don’t mind it; it means my girl has a nurse that cares for her. I just need her to give me more trust.

“This amnesia, is there a way to help it get better? I showed her our wedding pictures, and she doesn’t remember it. Is there anything else I can do?” I ask her. I even made a small tear come out of my eye.If this doesn’t convince her, I don’t know what will.

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