Page 66 of Doll's Eye

“I’ll be waiting right outside,” he murmurs, reluctantly leaving us.

As soon as we’re alone, Tullio joins me on the loveseat. The soft fabric runs under my palms as I slide them around the surface. “If you ever decide to redecorate, promise me you won’t get rid of this couch. Or at least give it to me.”

Tullio has always taken his role as the eldest seriously. The only time I remember him anything less than serious was when Agnella was in his life. So, it's warming when he smiles like he does right now. “I promise.”

“Massimo is pissed at me,” I mutter. “Thinks I should’ve run to the panic room with Gemma.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, then over the scruff on his face. Poor guy has aged so much in the past few months. “As your older brother, I wish you did too.” I huff and fall back against the couch. “We can’t help the fact that we’d rather you do whatever it takes for you to be safe and not risk your life.”

“What don’t you guys get?” It hurts knowing that the only man who would be proud of me isn’t here to tell me so. “If I had run rather than held them back, Gemma wouldn’t have made it to the panic room. Neither of us would. And what do you think would’ve happened then? I’m not stupidorover-confident, and I know I could’ve been raped and killed, but it was either me or both of us. Be pissed at me all you want for doing that, but I would do it again in a heartbeat if given the choice. Even if I died.”

“I’m not upset with you, Alessia. I’m proud of you.”

“You are?” My voice raises.

“Of course I am. AndBabbowould be too. I’m sure of it. He’s always been so proud of you. Even when he found out about you cutting off the Gallo’s boy’s cock and fed it to him.”

I bite back a smile. “Tell me.”

Tullio puts an arm around me, and we both lean back. He begins to tell me about that day. How he was horrified for a whole two seconds before bursting out in laughter. I needed this. To reminisce on the good memories.

“He always knew you could take care of yourself, Alessia. We all do. But we also wish you, Gemma, and Mamma could have a better life. Even Alba.”

I rear back, frowning. “A better life? I love my life, Tullio.”

He stares at me for a long moment. “Only because this is what you know.”

I sit up straight and twist my body inwards. “It’s because I’m a Bonetti, and it’s in my blood. This is all I know because it’s all I want to know.Babbounderstood that. That’s why he let me train, why he didn’t have me go to college, why he arranged a marriage for me.”

“Babbowould see things differently if he had lived through everything that has happened recently.”

“You can’t say that!”

He sighs heavily and leans forward, dragging his palms down his tired face. “You’re right. It isn’t fair to speak for him, but I can speak for the rest of us now. The ones who are still here and love you immensely. I have lost too many loved ones already.” His voice tightens towards the end, and his eyes glaze over with that anguish still just under the surface. “I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you girls.”

“It’s part of this life, Tullio. I won’t ever put myself in danger if there’s another choice. I didn’t have one today. Please see that,” I plead with him gently. I can see him breaking inside, and I don’t want to give him any more grief. He’s had enough.

He nods his head solemnly, and we grow quiet for a moment. “Did you really have to make that guy choke on his own dick again?” he mutters.

I snort. “He had some naughty plans with it. Mine were better.”

Chapter thirty-four

Alessia

Massimo has been oddly reticent lately, more than usual.

It’s been a week since the attack, and we’ve hardly spoken. Even more bothersome, we haven’t had sex. He’ll come to bed late without a word, and I’ll pretend to be already sleeping.

I don’t know if he’s stressed out or still shaken or if he thinks I’m too fragile at the moment. I have no idea what to think when he’s like this, but it’s eating me up inside.

More so than the initial incident. I’ve never felt so helpless in all my life. It wasn’t the fear of dying, it was the terror of being defiled and ravished by those pigs. I would’ve chosen death over that.

But I got out of it nearly unscathed, though I don’t think Massimo has.

I miss him. I miss the Massimo I had before all this. The one who could crack me like an eggshell. Who couldn’t keep his hands off me or even go an hour without tracking me down. Initially, he was aloof and a little cold towards me, but this isdifferent. He’s not only distant, but he’s also dour. Even when I’m tucked into his side with his arms around me, he feels miles away.

In a crime family, conflicts and unexpected events always occur, but maybe being with me is an unnecessary complication. Between losing my father and him having to lose his, and my mother being in the hospital for so long, and then the attack on our estate. What if it’s all too much for him? What if I’m not worth the added strain?

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