Page 132 of Hate So Deep

My core pulses when I see the dangerous light behind his eyes and after pushing my pants to my feet, I toss them off before spreading my legs.

His mouth quirks as he pulls his dick free and slowly slides inside. We rock together in a slow cadence that fills my soul before we come together, and I close my eyes.

He’s so beautiful in his need but I know the end is coming and I’m afraid that after everything, my soul will not survive this final blow.

Chapter 48

NOW

Lauren

An hour later, I ease from the couch and a sleeping Dirk before tiptoeing into the den.

Through the picture window, snow falls from the sky in fat flakes while I sit before the cold hearth.

I can’t avoid this any longer and maybe it’s Dirk’s presence, albeit unknowingly, but it gives me the courage to delve into shit that I’ve avoided the past few days.

This is why I find myself standing in my mom’s room. The footage from the camera at the front door indicated that my mom lied about being home that night.

At a minimum, she was here when Dirk dropped me off around midnight.

Why would she lie?

Did she know that Buck texted me? She knew enough to tell me that he was coming to pick me up and bring me home.

How?

Although she’s always been overprotective regarding Buck, her behavior the last few weeks has been beyond strange.

Was it something more than grief that possessed her to destroy her room and mine?

She knew this home inside and out, since she was practically a drill sergeant about it, so how did she miss the fact that the blue rug was gone from the upstairs hall?

Or did she?

What about the missing footage from that night? Is it possible it’s saved somewhere that Buck or my mom wouldn’t know how to delete it?

I don’t know but I have to try, and this is when I tiptoe to the closet and drop to the floor beside her safe.

Ever the planner, Mom always kept a spare laptop inside to ensure that even if the original was stolen, she would still have the information she needed to run her business.

Did the police search the safe? It’s possible but no one beyond the four of us, Mom, Dad, Buck, and I knew about the alternate version built into the floor.

This is where I focus my efforts because I know to my bones that if she hid anything worth finding, here is where it would be.

Dirk’s earlier suggestion about using Buck’s birthday was a wise one and I sit back once the safe is open, eyeing the contents with a frown.

Despite her being gone, I still expect her to walk in at any moment and rain down hell upon me for being here, but I shove aside the guilt over searching through her things because I have to know if she betrayed me.

Not only for my sanity but because this is my life on the line and she was not exactly forthcoming with her sympathy or concern.

Inside, there are documents that I assume lead back to Mom’s estate, jewelry that she hardly ever wore and a few items of my grandfather’s that I set in a different pile.

A pretty little wooden box reveals, what I presume to be Buck’s first tooth and a lock of his blonde hair resting on a silken blue pillow.

Unsurprisingly, there isn’t anything of the sort for me, but I do find a sandwich bag sitting on top of another box, filled with a wad of dark hair.

It’s long and snarled and an odd keepsake but Mom did not have dark hair, and my dad has always kept his shorn short.

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