Page 24 of Hate So Deep

I’m still confused as to why there were text messages between Buck and I that night and how they got erased.

Was he bringing me home? Why?

Come to think of it, if the messages are gone, how does anyone know what we actually said to each other?

I guess the police have access to stuff like that?

I haven’t looked at Dirk’s page since he fucked me and told me to go over nine months ago, so it’s with a heady feeling that I pull it up now.

Strangely, for someone who was all over the shit before he graduated, his social media page has barely been updated since.

Good for me, it makes it easier to find a post from that night. My throat burns to see him smiling with some chick, but I ignore the feeling as I zoom in on the picture and to my horror, find my scowling facade in the background.

Shit. Did Dirkseethis?

He didn’t post it, thank fuck, but come on…where the hell is my damn dignity?

Long gone, it would seem. Ugh.

Focusing back on the picture, I zoom around the background again, avoiding my fucking face but I don’t recognize the house.

The white furnishings and art on the wall lead me to believe it wasn’t one of our typical haunts though.

Is this the place Caro took me after I told her I didn’t want to go home?

And Dirk was there? Hm.

Why? He made it clear how he felt. Did I follow him, or did he follow me?

If there is a god, he was the one doing the following.

With a groan, I pull up Caro’s number. As soon as she answers, I say, “I need your help.”

Two hours later, I’m sitting in the car in front of her house while she stares at me wide eyed.

Thank God her parents are out shopping because I can’t imagine doing this by myself.

“Caro,” I snap, and she rubs her forehead.

“Sorry, I just…wow. You don’t rememberanything?”

“No,” I sigh, gripping the steering wheel. “Now the police are asking shit and …fuck!”

“Okay, we’ll figure it out but trust me, you didn’t hurt your brother, Lala,” she says, and I eye her sideways.

“How do you know?”

“Because you don’t have it in you. Did you ask Lover Boy?”

Don’t I? Sometimes I think I feel the same darkness beneath my skin that I saw in Buck’s eyes. Maybe I’m just better at hiding it?

“No,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “What would he know? I blacked out after he dumped me,again.”

Chewing her lip, she says, “But he was there. At the second party.”

“Yeah, but for how long?”

“Jesus, Lala. You really don’t remember anything. After you disappeared with Gage, he came storming in. When I couldn’t find you later, I assumed you left with him.”

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